He Said...

Every day I am reminded that there is no handbook for this parenting stuff.

So for real.. let me ask you a question.

Did you explain to your son what balls are?

Did you?

Cause we didn't.

It just never came up.

Until the other day when I heard him and his sister fighting and he was all...

"Stop it right now Girlfriend or I am going to kick you RIGHT IN YOUR BALLS!"

I was all... errrrrtttt.... put the brakes on.. hold the phone... what did that kid just say?

Did he just tell his sister he was going to kick her in her balls?

I quietly went to the door of her room where they were playing... I stood there for two seconds when I heard it again...

".... right in your balls! Get away from me!"

Those of you that have lots of kids are probably laughing at me right now because your younger ones already know what balls are because the older ones have told them.

Buuut.... this is our oldest, and we never told him.

I'm pretty sure we have Pre-School to thank for this one.

Those little fuckers have the worst potty mouths.

So... I put the kid in Time Out and explained that he had said something that only adults say, and only not nice adults at that.

I didn't tell him what it meant.

I just couldn't do it.

I know... I suck at this parenting stuff.

But I kind of felt like if I did tell him... then he would be tempted to not only use the phrase more often, but to be the one that teaches other kids about balls.

And I don't want my kid to be the ball teacher... ya know??

I toyed with the idea of saying, "Ya see those things? Ya know, the things that just are kind of there and ugly? Welp... those are...."

And then I was all... "Nah.... let a kid on the bus tell him."


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