You Gotta Clip It

Baby Boy got his tongue tie clipped about a month back.

I know. I'm behind.

Anyway... if you read about when I turned my Doll Face blue, you know that they were treating us for thrush... but it was accidentally Baby Boy's tongue tie that was the problem.

So... the Doctor was all, "It's not that bad, but you should get it clipped if you want to enjoy nursing."

And since I am a lover of all things breast feeding... I went ahead and made the appointment for Boyfriend's tongue to get the ol' choparoo.

Actually... first I called the Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist that our Pediatrician recommended and they said he couldn't see us for two weeks.

And that's when I started to panic, and called every single Specialist that I could find.

It wasn't that Baby Boyfriend's tongue tie bothered me all that much... but I'll be damned if I wasn't tired of my boobs hurting!

I had been using creams and potions for a full five weeks when they found the tongue tie and I was ready to feel like a human being again.

Long story short... the original recommended Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist had a surprise opening at one of his Office's and I jumped on it.

But not before calling my friend Rachie, who is a nurse, and begging her to hold the Dollface during the procedure.

I just couldn't stand the idea of watching a Doctor clamp and take scissors to my baby's tongue.

I just couldn't do it.

Lucky for me... Rachie could.

I hung up with Rachie and called Lu, who said she would watch the big kids in the waiting room while I hid in the hallway during the tongue clip.

Thank God for my friends.

They totally had my back on this one.

Which is great cause Husband's job keeps him freaking busy these days.

Anyway... Rachie and I go into the little room.

I tell her that I am freaking the fuck out about having my little Sweet Potato's tongue clipped and she's all...

"Don't worry... I know this Doctor, he is awesome, it'll be fine."

So I'm trying not to cry while I remember when I had my own tongue clamped...

I was 18... in a tiki hut... on the beach... in Florida.

Granted I was voluntairly getting my tongue pierced at the time, but shit that clamp was uncomfortable.

I was feeling really terrible about Baby's tongue and was ready to bail when the Doctor walked in.

Annnnnddddd he was pretty much the hottest Doctor on the planet.

Thanks a freaking lot for the heads up Rachie!

Mr. Movie Star Silver Fox Doctor comes in and shakes my hand and I forget all about my baby's tongue and tell him instead that my boobs hurt.

Yup. I did.

This guy was a mix between Brad Pitt and George Clooney, but better, because hello... he's a Doctor.

I mean no disrespect to my fantastic husband... but this man was a smoke show.

And also?? A FANTASTIC distraction.

Seriously I was all, "tongue clip? baby? huh?"

I handed Baby Boy over to Rachie who sat calmly in the chair because remember she already knew that Doc McHottie was a movie star... so she wasn't surprised at all when he came in looking like himself.

She sat in the chair for the quick; 'clamp, cut, cauterize, done' procedure... which took all of two minutes and officially changed our nursing problems forever.

I hid in the hallway covering my ears and was pleasantly surprised at how quick everything happened.

Seriously...f your child has a tongue tie... get the freaking thing clipped.

It is a totally common, non-invasive procedure and my Dolly stopped crying the second I picked him up.

Now he won't have a lisp, and within three days of having it clipped all of our nursing problems were gone forever.

The whole family is functioning better.

For starters... I missed bras! Thank God I can be comfortably holstered again.

The big kids are thrilled that I am wearing a shirt all the time, and not just when people come over to visit anymore.

Baby Boy thinks he is pretty cool with his new and improved tongue... he sticks it out non-stop these days.

And Husband is happy that I'm no longer complaining about my boobs every second.

An all round win for everybody.

Oh and most importantly of all... the Sweet Potato can latch the right way now... and I don't feel like he is trying to cause me a slow and painful death via my nipples.


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