Lying To My Child & Putting Him To Work

The concept of having your child circle their Christmas wishes in a magazine is hardly new;

You probably remember going through the Sears Christmas Wish Book with a big fat purple magic marker, tearing that Barbie section to shreds... amIright?

I distinctly remember turning to the Barbie page, hearing the angels sing Hallelujah, gripping that big fat smelly marker in my hand and being like:

MINE! (circle) MINE! (circle) MINE! MINE! (circle, circle) MINEMEINEINEINEINEIEN!! (circle the whole damn page cause I want all you bitches up in my dream house...)

I love you Barbie! Mine! I promise I wont let my brother draw on your face! Mine!

That's how you remember it, right??

Anyway, about a month ago, I was out grabbing the mail, and Lovebug was watching me from the front door.

It was cold as HAIIIL out there, so I sprinted back into the house...

Now an adult watching that scene would have seen another adult jiggling and jogging her way into the house, because, hello, it was cold.

But a three year old with the energy of ten puppies (Lovebug) saw someone that was excited!

A grown up running! An adventure will surely follow!

I was one foot in the door and he was all:

"Mom! What happened?! Are you excited?! Is there mail for me?"

Sometimes lying to your kids comes so naturally that is a little scary.

I don't know what made me tell him that Santa had sent a catalog with a letter asking him to pick out what he would like for his Christmas presents...

I don't know why I continued on that Santa also needs Lovebug to please send the books back to the North Pole, so that he would know just what to put under our Christmas tree.

But I did... and Lovebug's little blue eyes bugged. out. of. his. head.

He sucked in his breath, ripped those catalogs right out of my hands and marched his cute little booty to the kitchen table.

He was all, "Mom. I need a pen. I'm goin' to work."

As it turns out, when "Santa," asks a three year old for help, they take that shit seriously.

Lovebug fully believes that he has a legit job from Santa, and he is NOT about to fail that Big Guy.

He has looked through every single catalog, flyer, and newsletter that has come through our front door in the past four weeks.

He even once devoured every last page of Birds & Blooms...

I'm talkin' cover to cover, and then handed it back to me: "No fanks, Mom... too many birds."

Next up is mailing all of our circles back to Santa... who will hopefully have another insta-lie ready to go.

The last one flew out of my mouth so easily, I am honestly a little scared of what I'll say next...

Especially because we don't have a chimney so... hopefully I won't accidentally promise something that is going to involve any mason work in the next month or so.

I can't help it, I will say just about anything to see that magic in his eyes!

**If you were waiting for me to explain why he is sitting in that basket... don't hold your breath. I have no idea why my kids do any of the weird stuff that they do... I'm just here to take their picture while they do it.


  1. This entire process has become a ritual in every household for every parents. It is even sometimes fun doing something like this for your kids just to see that big smile on their faces.

    1. I had no idea that mailing the catalogs back to Santa was something people do! I thought I made that part up!

    2. Most parents do this just to make the process a little realistic in front of their kids.And it is totally worth it for the smile it brings on your kids faces.

  2. My parents did a similar ritual for me while I was growing up. We loved the thought of Santa Claus. It filled us with awe and wonder every christmas morning. They love the lie, their smiles are proof enough. Besides when the day comes when they find out you do all that stuff for them, will also be a pretty good day.

  3. This post brings me back to my childhood, Santa-believing days. I love that your little man snuggles up in a basket with a blanket to decide on his gifts. He looks so happy, it's infectious! -Swoon!- http://www.chezglaser.com

  4. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA! I about choked on my saliva when you were talking about those Barbie pages. "(circle the whole damn page cause I want all you bitches up in my dream house...)" -um. genius. I can totally relate. Cept mine was the JCPenney's catalog. Gosh. Those were the days. Great post. I love the mess out of your thoughts. xoxo


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