I hide behind the camera a lot.

Not on purpose.

I mean.. not entirely.

I kinda feel like, as long as I have a camera of some sort in my hand... I know the moments and memories are being captured....

Which is a good thing, too, because Lawd knows if I turn out anything like my Mom, I am definitely going to forget all this shit happened (sorry Hunny).

That's why I started this whole blogging jammie jam in the first place... to be able to look back on our lives, and remember when...

But here's the thing...

I am a part of our lives too... but I am rarely captured in pictures with the kids... kind of sort of on purpose?

I know I was right there when all this stuff was happening... but when my kids look back, will they know I was there???

If they can't see me in the pictures??

The point is... I should probably get in front of the camera every once in awhile, right?

This is hard for me.

In large part because I am a typical Mom who doesn't get much sleep, wear make up, or change out of yoga pants... ever...

So it's not like I'm photo shoot ready... ever.

But the other day Lovebug said something to me that got me thinking... he said,

"Mom... you are the most beautiful Mom in the world."

 I pretty much immediately melted into a puddle on the floor.

And then...

I picked my puddle self up, squeezed that kid until his organs almost came out his mouth...

And I remembered...

I remembered thinking the same exact thing about my own Mother when I was his age.

Lovebug doesn't see the bags under my eyes, or the food on my glasses (from Ladybug, of course)... he just sees me...

The Mom that kisses the Boo-Boo's and reads books before bed...
The Mom that plays in the leaves, and pulls the wagon, and tickles, and wipes the butts, and makes the meals, and takes the temperatures, and gives the Time Outs.

He sees me; the real deal Holyfield me... and still thinks I'm the Most Beautiful Mom in the World.

I'm not dumb...

I know there is an expiration date on that thought...

I'm not sure at what age Lovebug will stop seeing Cindy Crawford when he looks at me... but inevitably, he will.

So, until then... I guess I'm gonna have to start creepin' out from behind the camera every so often.

Sometimes, it will probably look like I crawled out from under a rock...

And sometimes I will probably really hate the way I look...

But I am trying to remind myself...

My children will never give a shit that I didn't put mascara on, that my thighs touch, or that my dimples make huge ginormous wrinkles in my face.

All they want... is my presence.

When my Happy Hooligans look back on their childhoods...

I want them to know who was right there with them every step of the way...

I want there to be proof of my existence in our lives: not in blog form, but in photo form.

So from now on... I'll be there... front row, cheesin' my face off at that camera... because that's where the Bugs want me to be.

There will be proof of my existence.

Here goes nothin...

:::I'm a tiger, I'm a tiger...:::


  1. Love it. So glad to see you joining in the pictures. Your kids will enjoy looking back and seeing the pictures with you all together. My favorite childhood pictures are definitely the ones where my mom and me are together. And girl, you look great. :)



    1. You're the sweetest. You said everything I needed to hear.

  2. I have the same thoughts about seeing the pictures I take...I am never in them! Will my son, and future children, be sad one day and wonder why I am not in any pictures with them? Will they remember that I was there with them when the picture was taken? I should probably just suck it up like you, although I have yet to receive the super-melt-your-heart comment about my beauty! (My son is only 15 months, I can cut him some slack for now!) I am glad you posted about this...makes me realize I need to do the same thing and just get my tired self in front of the camera!

  3. I recently read a post about the same topic - getting in the pictures instead of always taking them and I couldn't agree more. Sometimes I know I look horrible, but sometimes the pictures surprise me and end up being one of my favorite. I want my daughter to know I was there.

  4. How true is this. It's exactly why I try to be in the pictures with my son even though I'm still recovering from giving birth to him and I definitely do not look the way like I did before I got pregnant, but I know that my son won't care less. :)


  5. If I were as hot as you are without any make up I would never stop taking pictures, especially of myself. Seriously, you look great! Easy to see why Lovebug thinks you're so beautiful. :)

    1. You are the sweetest... and such a good liar!!

  6. Love this post, they you for such a beautiful reminder, I am the same way, the one always behind the camera. Also what your son said to you is just the sweetest thing ever!! and you are a very beautiful Mama!


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