The Dark

The damn dark is ruining my life.

Every night the sun goes down and out comes my child, the devil; who has decided he is now deathly afraid of the dark.  Or so I have diagnosed.

All the tell tale "duh," signs are there.

Every night as soon as it gets dark out, he says, "Mom, is it dark out?"

When we put him to bed he asks us to leave the light on in the hallway.

Oh yeh, and that other thing he does... scream his friggin' head off for three hours.

No big deal.

Admittedly, we haven't been doing much to help his fears because he is known to play the shit out of us at bedtime.

He is officially smarter than us.

He knows asking to use the potty is a, "Get of out bed free," card.
So he uses it, and uses it, and uses it.
Until we are actually telling our kid he cant use the bathroom.
I know, Parents of the Year over here.

Aside from the whole sitting on the potty for, "One more pee," business, bedtime is basically just a shit show, that ends with me in tears, and Husband one step away from jumping off a cliff. (Men are so dramatic).

Last night I pulled out all the stops, or should I say, I pulled out all the lights, as in flashlights. .
And singing glow worms, and ceiling dancing light thingys.

I tried it all.

Even these weird things, that look like sex toys if you ask me.

They are actually rechargeable hand held flash light jobbies, made especially for "restless, potty training kids,".

Yeh, okay, whatever.

In our house, that thing was immediately used as a baseball, because as soon as I handed one to Lovebug he launched it at my head. Direct hit to my forehead (note to self: sign Lovebug up for tee-ball, asap).

We are at a loss as to what to do next.

We have tried books, singing, talking, and telling stories.

We've tried the light on, the light off, the door open, the door closed.

Bedtime issues are nothing new for Lovebug, who has fought sleep since he was born; but this whole, "dark," bidness is an added "fun," bonus he is throwing at us these days.

I wake up thinking about bedtime, I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner thinking about bedtime.

I pray to the sleep Gods to let my son be calm, and mellow, and okay with hugs, kisses, and bed. Not collapsing into a pile of sleepy, snotty, sobbing toddler after 3 hours of all out craziness.

I am thinking far too much about bedtime for a grown woman. I am officially scared every night for what will come after bath and books.

My two year old is afraid of the dark. And I am afraid of my two year old.

Hold me singing sea horse, hold me.


  1. AHH! That sounds horrible. My daughter is still in her crib in diapers so I haven't had to deal with anything like this yet. We have a ladybug that shines stars on the ceiling, I know they have it in turtle form too. That sounds kind of like your dancing lights so I don't know if it would work. Maybe you could find a fun book on amazon about the dark to read to him before bed?

  2. We've had that problem for a while too. We have a nightlight in A's room and we also give her a glow stick every night (not exactly green... but it works). Also when she first decided she was afraid of the dark we asked her what or who exactly she was afraid of. So now every night we have to tell Spiderman & Bad Guy to go away so A can sleep. That actually helped. We have her say it too.

    We also had to limit potty use at bedtime... otherwise she was just asking and asking. Or she would ask for - just a sip of water, 15 times.

    Good luck!


  3. Ask him what he is worried about. Then fill a spray bottle with "monster spray" or whatever it is and spray the room every night with water. We did that for a while. Or try one of the portable night lights he can sleep with. Adeline has a t-rex one.

  4. We have similar issues...you are not alone. I leave the lights on the lowest dim setting in his room and tell him that I come in and check on him all night long. After we are done reading books we shut off all the lights and cuddle and tell "nice stories" about apple picking and trucks and farms and animals. When we are done I turn on the lights, put him in bed and tell him I am going to check on him in a little while. This has really helped us. Good luck!!!


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