3/20/17

She Said...

One of the main reasons that we are moving is to give our kids a better education.

I don't love the school system here, and I feel like the kids are already starting to show signs of working with a less than stellar program.

That's just my two cents and you don't have to agree with it.

So, it's almost April, and I have been a little disappointed in the progress that my Girlfriend has been making with her reading... and alphabet sounds.

We work together regularly and I have already sent her to a friend of mine who specializes in this type of thing.

I have been in touch with the teacher, repeatedly, like a loon, and she keeps saying, "not to worry, blah blah...."

But, I am worried anyway.

Let me give you an example of why I am stressed about GF's reading....

She came to me and said... "Mommy! Mommy! East said the "T" word!"

So I'm thinking...the "t" word?? how old am I? There's a new word?

I'm like, tell me my seven year old said "tit"... and I'm gonna lose it.

Clearly I was ill prepared for this, "t word / new swear" conversation...

And she's all, "Yeh, you know! The "t" word! Mom YOU KNOW the "t" word!"

So I'm thinking really hard here, and I'm like do I say "tit" right now?

No. No of course not... what the Hell would I offer up a new word for?

As I was busy being bipolar with myself Girlfriend was all..

"You know, the "t" word... ta- ta- ta- FUCK!"

Oh of course... the "t" word is fuck.

And literally all I could think in that moment is, my five year old thinks fuck starts with "t".

It didn't even bother me that she, and he, apparently everyone, is saying fuck...

It bothered me that she didn't know the "f" sound...

At least my priorities are straight, right?

Fuck.





3/16/17

Monster Jam

Last weekend we were lucky enough to be able to surprise the whole crew with tickets to Monster Jam!

Sunny Sonny is currently obsessed with monster trucks thanks to a chance run in with a monster truck show at a fair last summer.

His love for this culture that Husband and I know ZERO about, is over the top and honestly, pretty adorable.

Recently we rented out  the local children's museum for his birthday party and threw him a monster truck themed party.

He even has favorite trucks and knows their little fan-girl things to do and say for them... he is a devoted and knowledgeable fan, even at age three.

So, I saw online that Monster Jam was coming to the arena near us and although their prices are pretty affordable, I just couldn't rationalize it.

You see, our kids are famous for getting somewhere, us dropping a ridiculous amount of money for them to get in, and then deciding after 25 minutes that they are over it.

But I really wanted to go, so I begged my salesman brother in law to see if he could get tickets through work, and he pulled through!

We put the kids in the car and we were like, "We have a surprise!!! Let's goooo!"

They were freaking PUMPED when we finally told them where we were going.

Especially this little guy.



I cant with that face.

It was amazing to see him so excited about something that HE loves, and not the big kids for a change.

AND our tickets were even in the Stags Club, which is the seats at the very tippity top of the stadium, all spread out and clean and not smooshed down below.

Before we went we stopped at Home Depot and got each kid a pair of ear buds because Monster Jam is loouuuud.

We did this because I had an idea that those ear muff things would be expensive and they absolutely were... at $20 a pop, times 3, that would just be kind of ridiculous.

I was able to get three pairs for $21 at Home Depot and it was absolutely worth it to make a quick stop ahead of time.




One thing that I really love about Monster Jam is that they are really appreciative of our military.

Both times we have seen Monster Truck shows they have made announcements to have anyone that is serving or who has previously served to please rise and stand so that we can all clap and cheer for them and show them some love.

I love this, especially because Husband is a veteran but also because hello...it's our military and they deserve it!!

 We should do this at every sporting event... every. single. one.


The Monster Jam community is actually so fun and exciting, each truck has their own like team of fans and they have special music that they get announced to, some have special crazy arm movements they do... it's a legit sport with a huge fan base!!

There are even girl drivers!



There were two at our event- one drives the Scooby Doo truck (look up) and one drives the truck below, with the horns!!



In case you're wondering, Sunny Sonny is a Grave Digger fan (he even says it like the announcer, "GRAAAAAAAAVVEEE DIIGGGGGGGGERRRRRR") and the big kids are Zombie fans (a truck that has "Thriller" for its theme song and arms that move while it drives).

This one with the green and black below is Grave Digger... Sunny Sonny went wild when this happened... and if I'm being honest, we all did!

It's so cool to watch!


I also loved that as I was blowing up my instagram page with a million Monster Jam photos during the show, monster truck drivers were liking every single photo.

It is a super active community and the drivers really love their fans.

Monster Jam didn't know we were there and obviously has no idea that Our Tiny Place exists, so I'm not telling you this for any other reason except that it's a cool show to go to if you can the chance!

But for real...don't forget your ear buds! Those trucks are no joke... it is LOUDDDDD!

3/9/17

Life Lately....

So, we are officially on the market and we have been for one whole week.

We've had ZERO showing requests.

This is pretty freaking disheartening to a pair of people who put their blood sweat and tears into HGTVing their home every single day for two months.

Husband is always the Debbie Downer in our crew and was discouraged when we hadn't gotten a showing after an hour...

I was able to remain positive through the first weekend and then Sunday night I officially joined him aboard the USS Negative Nancy.

Guys... it is hard to always be the positive one.

I am super frustrated.

Our realtor, has been wonderful.

FANTASTIC. Yes, that's in all caps, even though our house hasn't sold and here's why...

First thing Monday morning, as in 7 am... I had an email from her assistant asking if we could schedule an Open House for this upcoming weekend.

By 9 am I had heard from our Realtor herself who said that she was making calls to people with similar listings in our area to find out if they had had any activity over the weekend.

This step was new to us but we were instantly like, duh, why didn't our last realtor do this??

She found out that the market is still slow in our area, not too many people looking yet, and that things really start to heat up closer to April around here.

So good to know.

That tiny nugget of information is helping us not freak out.

Also, if you follow me on Instagram (@ourtinyplace) then you saw some of our house photos from our listing... here's a few more...



Our realtor hired a professional photographer who brought all these cool bells and whistles and tripods and our listing really shines... and I mean that in the list corny, braggy way possible.

It just looks nice, I think so anyway.

If you are interviewing realtors find one that will hire a photographer for you!!

And a home stager who will shame you into making your home clean and empty!

These steps feel like they were very important, and again, even though we haven't sold, we do feel like these steps were missed our first go around. 

(Side note: If I get any feedback that people are interested in what we actually had to do, I would be happy to share the list from the stager and go over the boring logistics of what went into making our home empty slash prettier.)

We are living a 90% spotless life at all times... which, let me tell you, besides absolutely fucking sucking... is exhausting.

The last thing I want to do is make 4 beds every morning and clean up 4 bedrooms every morning and do a load of laundry every single day BUT...

It turns out, if you do all the laundry in your house 100% completely, then there is only enough laundry for one load a day... what is this weird laundry Hell slash Heaven ?

I had no idea that this weird Laundry Purgatory existed, but it is a super double edged sword like... on one hand, I am doing laundry every day, on the other hand, when I throw that one load in in the morning and put it away in the afternoon, that's it... like, there is nothing else hiding anywhere.

HAAAAAAAALLLELUJAH! This is foreign territory for me and quite possibly the most wonderful thing to come out of our non-move yet.

Also, with half our toys packed up and almost all of our non-essentials in storage, it turns out the monsters can actually live with waaaaay less crap then they think they can.

I keep rotating the toys in and out of hiding and it has been wonderful for the kids, who are so excited to see their toys after what must seem like forever (but is only like three days)... that they are playing together, and with their toys, more than ever.

Everyone is getting good at putting things away, which is also amazing.

It's been a process, and a life style change for the better, for all of us.

But... I'm tired, Husband is tired, the kids are tired of hearing us tell them to live carefully... like, don't bang the walls, don't slam the doors, don't make a mess in the sink!

I feel guilty not letting them be themselves all the time.

Some days suck... but I keep telling myself, this is temporary.. this is temporary... someone will buy this house, someone will buy this house!!!

Please keep your fingers crossed for us... we are over it.

I know it will happen but we are ready to begin the next phase of our lives!

No more trips to the storage unit and endlessly refreshing realtor.com!!

The Positive Person in me is still in there somewhere I guess, and she knows that these things take time, and patience, and continued and constant sparkling cleanliness... all things I fucking hate.

Stay tuned for what is sure to be a bi-polar few months around here!

3/8/17

The Body Suit

For some unknown reason, I ordered a pair of cheap bodysuits from Amazon.

First of all, don't fucking to this.

Second of all, if you are going to do this (don't) I suggest you not be a cheap ass like me... DON'T buy a TWO pack for $20 and expect it to look good on you.

Clothes should not be bought in PACKS is my new rule... socks and sponges are bought in packs... not close fitting, skin tight clothing that sits in your crotch.

I haven't even told you how it looked yet... I mean, you can probably imagine, but let me finish anyway.

So, I order the body suits, and they arrive, and they are supposed to be like a cute V-neck.. and of course, it is like the lowest V-Neck you will ever see.

I'm not sure what this V-neck was supposed to be flaunting, but unless it was my fucking belly button... it failed.

Nothing looked good.. not even one thing... everything looked smooshed down like chicken breasts smashed into a too small zip loc bag.

Whose idea was putting on a bodysuit anyway?

Oh yeh, mine.

I was all.. "If Khloe can do it.. I can do it!"

Except that's not true... not all the time... especially not in the case of bodysuits.

Sometimes, you just shouldn't do things, even though a Kardashian can do it.

I try not to ever beat myself up, even though my friends and family know that I have wrestled with body issues for an eternity... I keep it well hidden from my children.

So when my daughter busted in (as children will do) while I was modeling the horrendous-ness that is a non-sculpting, extremely low cut bodysuit ... I was all, "What do you think!?"

And she was all, "Mom! You look AH-MAZING! I LOVE IT! LOOK AT YOUR BOOBS THEY LOOK SO SMOOSHY!"

And she's all smiling and clapping because she has no clue that I am having an internal struggle for so many fucking reasons but mostly because I hate this body suit and it is doing nothing for the body in it....

So I just said fuck it. And I clapped with her. I forgot about the panty lines that stupid bulky body suits give you... and I forgot about the weird hook and eye clasps in my crotch... because WHY...

I forgot about the fact that my usually petite-ish waist looked like a beer belly from pretty much every angle...

I did NOT forget that if I am ever dumb enough to order a body suit again that she will be made of all the spanx-ish material that one can mold into an article of clothing that is actually a weird bathing suit that you wear under your jeans.

I didn't forget that no matter how ugly and uncomfortable and down right bad someone feels about themselves... that there is nothing nothing nothing that a good excited clap cant make better.

So I clapped with my girl and I modeled that fucking God awful body suit for her and I told her I felt damn good about it...

Because even in moments of weakness, and self loathing, they are watching... and it's my job to make sure that my body image never ever ever become hers.

And one day, when she accidentally on purpose buys herself an article of clothing in pairs, and it looks totally horrendous and I find her in the mirror looking like I did... like... what?? why??? where did?? what happened to...

I will be there to clap and jump up and down and tell her that she looks AH-MAZING... just like she did for me.


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