This Is What Happens...

This is what happens when a certain little boy decides that he wants to spy on his parents while they are talking to a contractor near the edge of the woods.

And the little boy decides that the perfect place to hide his face would be behind a tree branch...

And every time you turn his way... he moves the leaves over his face.... and every time you look away... he pulls them back.

He does this enough times that the next morning..... well.... see for yourself.

So, that was Day One... obviously, I kept him home from school. He was put on two different steroids instantly, and let me tell you how fun THAT was for twelve days.

Day Two he looked a little better... but it had spread... and I know people swear it doesn't spread but listen... the kid's body was COVERED in it Day Two.


To the point where I just couldn't expect him to sit in his chair in his classroom without being super uncomfortable and so... Day Two he stayed home too.

He didn't even look like himself he was so swollen.

Mind you... this was NOT poison ivy. This was bumpy and scaly and the Doctor didn't name it but assured me it was NOT Poison Ivy.

Probably an Oak or a Sumac... whatever it was... it took the full twelve days of Steroids to clear up.

When Day Three rolled around... he looked a little better (these photos are being kind, he did NOT look this good and that's coming from his Mother) but he was begging to go back to school and I honestly couldn't take another day of all three kids stuck in the house again so off he went.

Needless to say, when your child looks like he took a bath in Poison Ivy, people are not kind to his Mother.

The Mommy Shamers came out in full force to tell me all the ways I fucked up my kid by letting him play in the yard, by not bathing him in special soap, by not making him wear a snow suit outside to hide him from the leaves... yada yada yada.

I have now accepted three DIFFERENT brands of soap from three DIFFERENT women who all know better than I do apparently, and swear that THEIR miracle soap is the ONLY soap that will save the day every time.

And so, the next time my child is playing in the woods I will use all THREE kinds of soap on him when he comes inside.

But if they don't work... if none of them saves the day...if he looks like this again anyway, even after all the miracle soaps have been used.... I will just use the freaking steroid cream that the Doctor gave us, and life will go on.

Because... at least my child is playing outside, like he should be! And getting weird rashes is apart of childhood ya'll!

Let 'em play! Let 'em scratch! Let 'em find things out the hard way! Love 'em up... but let 'em live too!

It's good for them!

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