Thirteen months and 2 weeks after leaving, here I am, announcing my return with a 90's related rap title.
Blogging has been on my mind for about 6 weeks, and I have been dragging my feet and wondering the right way to come back, or if I should even come back at all to be honest.
Then this morning I said screw it, today's the day... and here we are.
When I closed up shop last year, it was absolutely 100% the right thing to do.
I was seriously drowning in little human responsibilities and I just didn't have the time anymore.
But now... the kids are getting older, and I have a better handle on the situation (for today, anyway).
If you're a writer, then you will understand this next part.
I can hear my writer's voice in my head, and when I need to write I don't know how to turn it off.
When the words start pouring out for a poem, or a letter, or a blog post, I have to stop everything and write them down..
They come fast and furiously and then, they stop.
If I don't catch them while they're flowing, I forget them all.
My writer's voice has been hounding me for weeks... write write write.
And for awhile I thought, I'm going to start a new blog. A more mature version of Our Tiny Place.
And then I decided... let's just keep the name... but change the focus a tad every once in awhile.
Let's make it less kids, and more me... sometimes.
Shit, I matter too, right? I mean, a little bit at least.
So that's my focus this time around.
Less kids... more... woman, life, less Mom blog, more human blog.
That's the goal anyway.
I am in a different chapter of parenting... I am finding out that I am still a person (seriously, who knew?).
I started working again. At night. While the kids are asleep.
Which means... drum roll please... getting out of yoga pants!!!
I know. It was a super hard transition.
But working also means talking to adults, and having my own money... helping with the bills and working towards a better future for our family... with my husband... as a TEAM.
I needed that validation for myself so desperately that I could literally taste it for awhile there.
But now I've got it.
Now I'm bringing home the bacon too... literally and figuratively.
Why else am I back?
Well, this might sound totally pompous and arrogant but I'm gonna just go for it.
I fucking hate everything I read on the Internet.
I am so freaking tired of being shamed for every. single. freaking. thing. that. I. do!
I want this to be the least judgmental corner of the Internet.
I want people to come here and KNOW that they will not find a list of 12 reasons that they are screwing their kids up for life.
I am so tired of the lists! Who are these people! And why do they love numbering things so much?
This new fresh start for the blog is also a beginning of something different.
Everything has changed around here, and nothing has changed around here.
I still have a foul mouth, and make jokes that embarrass my mother in law.
I still make cookies more often than I do laundry, and I still love to hide and jump out and scare the crap out of the kids.
The babies are old, and so so SMART!
I honestly could not be any prouder of them.
If you still follow me on Instagram, then you already know this, for sure.
I spent this past year soaking up every single itty bitty second of Number 3's baby-ness... and now he is two and so old and suuuuch a trouble maker!!!
Girlfriend is my little bestie and just adores the shit out of her baby brother. I call her Mini Mom.
And Boyfriend... sigh.
Most of you have a soft spot for Boyfriend because I wrote about him for the longest, and that is where the biggest change will be in the blog this time around.
I have decided that I probably wont write much about him because he is at an age where he would be embarrassed if I posted too many pictures of him or told too many stories.
If any of his friend's parents ever stumbled onto Our Tiny Place, I would never want Boyfriend to be ashamed that his Mother told stories about his funny little life.
So out of respect for my growing lad, he wont be the star of the show anymore.
I'm not really sure what direction things will go in this time... but a few things are for sure.
I wont blog every day, and I wont post nearly as many pictures.
The truth is, the Internet is a weird place, and I don't want to put so much of myself out there that we end up with a lunatic knocking on our door at 1 am trying to cut my skin off to wear me like a purse.
Ya feel me?
So I am going to go into this return to blogging kind of slowly... less photos, way less editing... no scrubbing my house until it shines for pictures. Ever.
You will see the real deal because I have juuust enough time in the day to blog every once in awhile... but definitely not enough time to clean so that people online will think that my sink is always empty.
Spoiler alert: It's not. In fact, it's full of dishes right this second.
Just keeping it real.
What else can you expect this time around??
I'm really not sure.
Who knows if I will blog for a week, a month, a year... I honestly have no clue.
But, I know I want to interview other women, kind of Humans Of New York style, just their picture and a clip of their story... and also just write, about life....
...As a woman and an adult... as being someone more than a Mom.
I'm all about making us all feel more normal... about bringing us together in a way that makes us all laugh a little and say... "Thank God it's not just me".
All I ever wanted in my whole life was to be a Mother... and now, I am finally learning that it is okay to be yourself too.
It took me a long time to grasp that concept, but now that I've found it, I want to share this next Chapter with all of you.
A friend that just had a brand new baby asked me for any advice that I can give, anything at all.
Now I don't really like to give baby advice because I think that whatever works for you is right, but she persisted and I thought long and hard before telling her this...
Now that I am on the other side of baby babies, I can say with confidence.... don't worry, you will love your husband again.
I am so thankful to be able to say that my marriage has recovered from all those nights that I wanted to kick my husband in the face while I was up nursing 17 times as he lay snuggled in bed snoring.
It gets better. I promise.
Trust in the process, and trust in yourself that you chose the right partner.
It gets better and one day you'll wake up and be like me... remembering what it was like to be you.
Until then... welcome back to Our Tiny Place... I'm totally winging this shit and I hope you'll stick around long enough to see what happens next.