BUT... before my recent "ah-ha" moment... Boyfriend and I have had some serious fights about clothes.
Listen, I'm not proud of the fact that my son and I are fighting over something as dumb as what he wears to school.
But, we are... or were... before my epiphany.
The kid is just such a woman about his clothes.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't make fun of my own child but for real, he freaks the eff out about what he wears the same exact way that I did... WHEN I WAS TWELVE.
But he's FIVE!!!
And also... I HAVE TWO HUGE CLOSETS BURSTING AT THE SEAMS OF RALPH LAUREN CLOTHES THAT NO ONE WEARS!!
You know what... sometimes it just feels fucking good to write in caps when you're mad about something, amIright?
I think I am.
Anyway... any time Boyfriend is rude, or fresh, or punches his sister in her head... I tell him I get to pick out his shirt the next day for school.
Mostly because it's the only thing that he cares about, he doesn't use an ipad, or video game....
He doesn't care about his toys enough to take one single one away, but take away a ninja turtle shirt and the kid has a damn heart attack.
Maybe I shouldn't go for where it hurts, but hey, a Mom has got to get a little respect ya know?
Anyway, here's the part where I throw myself under the bus.
I should just get the fuck over it.
Who cares what he wears.
I mean... he should respect me... but I'm sure he can do that while he's wearing a super hero shirt, ya know??
I'm on this tag sale page on Facebook... and this lunatic lady who is always trying to search for things to fill her house with, posted that she was searching for dinosaurs, trucks, and ninja turtles.
And then all these moms were like, "I have them!! I have them!! My son wont look at them.!!"
And that's when it hit me.
These damn super hero shirts that I am fighting with my five year old about every morning...
One morning, I'm going to wake up and he isn't going to ask to wear one.
One day, I'm going to wake up and he will beg for the GAP shirts that I'm pushing on him, for the Polo and Vineyard Vines.
Soon enough he will beg for expensive clothes and I will go broke trying to make him happy because by then, the hand me downs will have surely stopped coming.
Before long the Ninja Turtle phase will give way to something else...
And then my baby will be even more of a child...
The toys will gather dust and I will want to punch myself in the throat for rushing things like striped shirts.
And I will be missing the times when all he wanted to be when he grew up was a super hero that married his mom.
So... I just need to get a freaking life... and let the kid wear whatever the hell he wants.
Except on picture day...
I may have had an epiphany but I have not lost my damn mind... the kid will dress normal on picture day.
Because I want to remember just one day of his kindergarten self without a turtle shell stomach..
But as for today, and for the rest of the year he can wear whatever the hell he wants, because if he's happy, I'm happy.
So... turtle shell it up kid (except on picture day).
But watch your Mouth and respect your Mother...
Or you're gonna find ME in your classroom wearing my own super hero shirt, AND cape, AND eye mask, AND UNDERWEAR...
And I'll be all, "Whose cool now, DUDE??"
Yeh, that's what I thought.
Word to your Mother.