8/11/14

Yego

At the end of a long crazy day I sat down to nurse Boo in his nursery...

I closed my eyes and listened to the rain from his noise machine and tried to ignore the chaos I heard in the hallway.

Husband was putting the big kids to bed and I was thanking God that for once I got five minutes of quiet and not... twenty five minutes of crazy... before bed.

Visions of pudgy legs, dimpled feet, and baby smiles danced through my head as I tried desperately to tune out the now getting louder chaos in the hallway.

It was getting closer... and closer... and then..

The door flew open and in ran a flustered Husband followed by a very sad Boyfriend.
Boyfriend looked scared and Husband looked freaking pissed.

He didn't waste any time.

"He has A LEGO in his nose! STUCK IN HIS NOSE!"

I looked at Boyfriend and before I could speak he screeched:

"I HAVE A YEGO IN MY NOSE! STUCK RIGHT UP HERE IN MY NOSE!"

He was pointing towards the bridge of his nose and full blown panicking now.

I look in my lap at my now awake baby and say... "Alright, let's go to the Hospital."

I stand up and head for the door and Husband stops me...

"NO. No freaking way. IT IS BED TIME AND I AM NOT SPENDING THE WHOLE DAMN NIGHT IN THE ER FOR A LEGO!"

And so began our attempts to remove said Lego from Boyfriend's nose.

First step was getting the flashlight, because... of course it was so far up there that we couldn't see it.

After we located the Lego... in the left nostril, allll the way up there... we determined that it was a red headlight for a car.

I feel the need to tell you that just so you don't think the kid was walking around with a giant yellow Lego sticking out of his face and we couldn't see it.

From location we moved on to trying to get it out.

Never in my life did I imagine begging my five year old to shoot a snot rocket... let alone demonstrating how to do it.

Alas, no amount of closing one nostril and blowing out another worked because for whatever reason, our kids... do not understand the difference between blowing air out and sucking air in.

So every time we said, "Just blow your nose to your toes!!"... He would suck that headlight deeper into his face.

It was getting crazy... he was sobbing, and super scared.

We moved on to some saline solution and that booger getter thing that people use on babies.

Neither one did anything because hello, a Lego will not fit into the booger getter ya know?

Finally Husband said, "Alright, I'm going to cover your whole mouth with my hand and you're going to cough as hard as you can... okay?"

Husband covered Boyfriend's mouth, and Boyfriend wound up to give a big cough, but before he could, he gave one last giant boo hoo sob... and the Lego came flying out of his nose.

The headlight was dripping with boogers that, for me, will always represent the life lessons that no one teaches you about when they hand you a baby at the hospital and say good luck.

I had the most epic picture of Husband giving Boyfriend a lecture about all of the places that Legos are not supposed to go or be inserted into... but it was lost forever when I broke my phone (yes again).


Throughout this entire process I couldn't help but laugh (when no one was looking of course).

Husband had taken charge of the Yego/Nose ordeal 100% and I just love to watch him parent in uncomfortable situations.

Since the Yego was safely removed from Boyfriend's nose, he has started giving public service announcements to his sister, his friends, and anyone else who will listen.

If you have been reading for awhile, you are probably not surprised at all that the talk usually goes something like this:

"Yisten. You can NOT stick Yegos into your nose. Or anywhere else in your body. Not in your mouth, or your eyes, or your nose, or your ears, and especially not in your butt!"

The more you know, I guess.




2 comments :

  1. Replies
    1. Hahaha I honestly laughed out loud at this. What a brilliant comment.

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