Scenes With Girlfriend...

 "Mommy you read me a book?"

"Sure baby, no problem."

She picks out a book, and sits down next to me.
I set Baby #3 up to nurse, cover us with a blanket and begin to read.

Page 1...

"Mommy you get me a drink?"
I sigh.

"I thought I was reading you a book?"
She gives me a dirty look and I know I'm in for it now.

"Mommy! I just need a drink!"
Toddlers... man... God love 'em they are insane.

So I need to read her a book while she relaxes with a drink in her hand.

Apparently my daughter is now the Queen of England.


"Okay! I Got your drink. Let's start again."
Re-latch Baby #3 to boob, re-cover us all with a blanket, re-open book and begin again.

Page 1....

"Mommy you get me a snack?"

"Wait. What? I just got you a drink."
Well now I've gone and pissed her right the fuck off. 

"Mommy! I'm hungry! My belly hurts! It's talking! I need a snack!"

 As scary as she is... I stand strong, briefly.
"No Doll, I'm not getting up again. If you're that hungry, chew your drink."


Oh for fucks sake... okay snack. Got it.

"Okay are you ready?"


"Are you sure? You got your snack you got your drink?"

"Mommmmmy! Just read!"

Okay okay geez Louise....

Let me just re-attach this now screaming baby to my nipple, open the book to Page 1...

"Mommy... I have to go potty."
You suck! You suck you suck you SUCK at being someone I can read a book to!

"Okay... ((sigh))...okay potty it is. Let's go."

Put Baby #3 in his bassinet.
Listen as he screams bloody fucking murder.
Follow Girlfran to bathroom.

She sits.
I wait.
Neither of us says anything... we just stare at each other waiting for her to do her business.

She looks me up and down.
For the love of God what is this child looking at?
She gives me a dirty look and then....
"Mommy. You get my drink?"

1 comment :

  1. Haha toddler are so crazy. Luckily, mine is easy to read a book to. She's obsessed with them. So much so, that she asks to read them at all hours of the day. Midnight. 3am. 5am. No time is safe.


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