4/30/14

He Swallowed A Fly

Four year olds are so funny... they take everything very literally.

Boyfriend swallowed a fly today and instantly went from a happy, spazzy kid on the swing set to a puddle of sadness.

He stopped playing altogether and instead crawled into my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck shortly after swallowing said fly.

After a little while he asked me to rub his back.

He sat quietly on my lap for a long time, maybe twenty minutes, before he whispered quietly into my ear.

"Mom. I swallowed a fly."

I was all, "I know Bud, that's okay, you'll probably poop it out."

And he was all, "No Mom. It's not okay. Don't you remember what happened to the yady?"

"The lady?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

And then he quietly whispered in my ear... "Yeh, the yady... who swallowed a fly... perhaps she'll die."

He looked me in my eyes then and even though it was the cutest and funniest thing he had ever said or believed in, I could tell that he was genuinely really freaking scared that he would die.

His eyes filled with tears and he asked me to, "Set him up," on the couch.

I carried him inside and was about to start him a Sippie, pillow, blanket, movie combo, when he said, "I'm gonna set myself up today Mom."

He walked around and slowly picked up each of his Transformers, and then went and laid on the couch.

Before he could say it, I knew what he was doing... he was getting ready for the fly to do him in, and he wanted to be surrounded by his guys when it happened.

He truly believed the fly was going to kill him.


It was the saddest and funniest and sweetest thing ever.

I just couldn't even handle it.

I tried endlessly to convince him that swallowing a fly doesn't mean that you are actually going to die... but he insisted that he wanted to just lay with his guys and be alone.



An hour went by and he came and found me working in Boo's nursery.

"Hey Mom..." he began.

"Yeh Bud... how you doing, how's that fly in your belly?"

"Well Mom... this is taking too yong. I think I'm actually gonna yive instead."

"Oh phew Bud, I was so worried."

"Yeh... I guess the song is wrong after all."

For some reason this whole exchange made me so proud of my innocent little lamb chop.

I know for sure that moments like these are going to be few and far in between in the future.

So for now, I'm gonna enjoy every last one of them.

And as for my fly eating four year old.

I could just put that kid in a pie and eat him up because man, if that wasn't the most delicious and ridiculous day of my life... humoring him while he laid on his kiddie transformer death bed.

If I've said it once, I've said it one thousand times...

The world is a wonderful and weird place through the eyes of a child.


4/29/14

She...

I was mopping the bathroom floor yesterday when Girlfriend asked if she could help.

I said sure, and handed her the mop.

Then I turned around to pick up a bath mat.

When I stood up and looked at her she was chewing on the mop like it was a piece of gum.

I was all, "WHY! WHY! OH MY GOD WHYYY! YOU'RE GOING TO GET HEPATITIS!"

And she's all.... dead pan dirty look eyes.... "No I not."

If she could have... I think she would have told me to mind my own fucking business.

But since she is too young to articulate that, and that is too freaking weird anyway... she just whined and complained and tried to justify why eating a mop was perfectly acceptable two year old behavior.

I shushed her and popped her in the shower because... I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

I told her to open her mouth and look at the ceiling.... to catch every last drop of water that came out of the shower.

Then I dumped an entire tube of toothpaste down her throat because... gross.

My Girlfriend..... never met a mop she didn't like.



At least her mouth is clean?





4/28/14

Heart Healthy

Guys. My heart is fine! Yay!

I guess I never actually told you that there was ever a heart question...

But there was, and I'm all good is the short story.

The long one, and the lesson here... is to always listen to your Doctor... even when you want to punch her in her guts.

The night Boo and I got home from the Hospital way back in January, Husband woke me up to tell me that I was gurgling and struggling to breathe.

Fast forward to the next day, five days postpartum, and my chest was heavy and achy.... like I swallowed a pill wrong.

We happened to be at the Pediatrician with Boo and I asked his Doctor to give my lungs a listen.

He didn't hear anything, but suggested I call my OBGYN just in case.

And when I did... all Hell broke lose.

For real... they went nuts.

They were all, "Get here... now... five minutes ago. Drive fast."

I was instantly in tears. I had no desire to go back to the Doctor, I wanted to be home with my family.

We picked up Boyfriend from school and started the half hour ride back to the Doctor.

I had been home form the Hospital one full day.

It was our first time in the car as a family of five.

It did not go well.

Girlfriend unbuckled Boo's car seat... Husband took Girlfriend out of the car and she ran into a parking lot (it still takes my breath away to think of that moment)... it was a disaster... we were a hot mess.

My Doctor saw me for two seconds, long enough to tell me that I had to be at the Hospital for an EKG and a CT Scan immediately.

Basically the long and short of it is that you are most at risk for a blood clot after you have had surgery, or after you have had a baby.

Well... I had just had both.

And the fear was that I had developed a clot in my lung.

We ran into some trouble (to put it lightly) when they told me that I couldn't nurse after I had my CT Scan.

My hormones accidentally told the poor Radiology Technician that she could fuck her CT Scan when she told me that I wouldn't be able to nurse for 48 hours.

I was a sobbing mess. Every time I looked at Boo, who had just learned how to nurse, I cried.

I felt like a failure, and so... I refused the test.

I also yelled at anyone who came near me.

But... when it came down to it... my chest still hurt.

And I was scared.

My Doctor called me after hearing that I had refused the test and basically said, "You have three children not one... and if you go home and die of a blood clot because you refused to stop nursing, that is not fair to them."

She sure did know how to up the drama factor... but she was right.

Sooo... I took the CT Scan... which came back negative for a blood clot.

I didn't nurse for 24 hours.

They told me if I completely flushed my system afterwards and pumped non-stop it would be okay to nurse twenty four hours later.

I exclusively breast feed, no bottles ever... so this was a really big and heart breaking deal for me to give my baby formula.

But... we made it twenty four hours, and thank God for us all, he latched right back on no problem.

Phew.

Not so phew was that my EKG came back abnormal.

I was ordered to visit a cardiologist for a follow up, and that appointment just happened last week.

I know... three months after the fact, clearly they weren't too worried.

All that to say.... the cardiologist said you are absolutely fine, your heart is fantastic and you probably have the cleanest liver of anyone I've ever met.

After Boo was born I took a long break from blogging for a million reasons (hello... sleep) and my heart was one of them.

Blogging was an added stress that I didn't need at the time, so it was easy to just not do it for awhile and try to focus on myself instead.

I was really anxious and nervous and now, more than three months later... we know that no matter what the test said way back in January.... now it says that I am A-okay.

The cardiologist chalked it up to my Doctor being abundantly cautious and me having just had a baby.

So while my heart may be full of love... it is not going to explode.

Yay!!




4/22/14

He Said...

Boyfriend was giving me the typical harassment deal that most kids give their Moms when they want something.

He had asked me 100 different times, and 100 different ways, if he could bring his Easter basket to the park.

And I had said, "No..." every single time.

The back and forth badgering tennis match with a four year old was not fun.

Finally, I decided to borrow a line from Mother's everywhere...

"Dude (that's not the line)... what part of no don't you understand?? (that's the line)"

He looked at me for a minute before saying very matter of factly...

"Um... The part where you said no."


At least he's honest?

4/20/14

Happy Easter!!

From our incredibly blessed and crazy home to yours...



May your belly be full, and your heart be light... Happy Easter!!

4/18/14

Matilda Jane Giveaway

Let me take this opportunity to publicly apologize to my children for taking their picture nine thousand times over the last few years.

My blogging "career," pretty much depends on their willingness to get in front of the camera for me... and when I recently had to turn the tables/camera onto myself, I realized just how hard that can be.

Matilda Jane Clothing, bless their sweet and creative hearts, did something that no other company has done in all of my years of blogging.

They sent ME clothes.

I was super excited to receive their package and try everything on until I realized that now I actually had to get in front of a camera for ya'll.

Let's remember that I am less than 3 months post partum so, yikes.

Luckily, the clothes they sent in a size small, were actually much too big on me...

So my self esteem was doing much better than it would have been had they been too small, ya know?


 I'd say their size Small runs a little wide, more like a 4-6.

I had to clip this Lacey Peplum Top in the back to make it fit correctly.


This deep purple Sundress was also too large but super comfy and light weight... I plan on taking it in just a bit for the summer and maybe adding a belt to help define my waist more.

I like that the clothes are unique and feel really high end, without being uncomfortable or stuffy.

Consider these pieces the opposite of a cramped cable knit sweater... really easy to wear.

With easter (and my 31st birthday) happening this Sunday, Girlfriend and I decided a little fashion show was in order for Husband.

He was gracious enough to snap a few pictures and spare me the awkwardness of doing it myself with a timer.

Love that man.

The Peplum Top is the perfect mix of sophisticated, and trendy... plus??

It's comfortable(!) and I love that it can be dressed up or down.


I wanted to pair it with black pants and pumps but decided against it so I could stay on the same casual wave length as my Girlfriend.


Speaking of dollface, she is wearing a Matilda Jane peasant top... with gap leggings and gymboree shoes (on the right feet, woot!!).

She was so sweet and helped make my first ever blogging photo shoot relatively painless and fun (she's a seasoned pro for sure).



She even picked out my shoes and jacket... which was fine by me because Lord knows if it's not yoga pants then I don't know how to wear it.

Now for the exciting part....

Matilda Jane Clothing wants to outfit the ladies at your house too!!

They carry clothes starting at babies size 3 months, all the way up to women's size XL.

Just fill out the Rafflecopter below for your chance to win a $50 Matilda Jane Clothing gift card.

You'll love the high end but casual feel of their clothes! Good Luck!

 a Rafflecopter giveaway

4/17/14

Graduation Is Coming...

It's crazy to think that in a few short weeks my baby boy will graduate from Pre-School.

I can still remember standing in Wal-Mart and having a full blown panic attack over what backpack to buy for him when he started school eighteen months ago.

Not to be confused with the panic attack I had over which shoes to buy for him.

And now here we are... in the second to last month of school, and Boyfriend comes home telling me that he is preparing for Graduation and practicing his songs every day.

FML how did I get this old??


I'll be especially sad to see this year end because I obviously won't be doing a School Days Project like this again next year... or, ever for that matter.

Right now, I take his picture every morning before school, but it's actually only every other day... because it's Pre-School.

Kindergarten will be everyday and overkill... he might officially hate cameras for life if I attempt that.

So I'll be happy with the one year I got out of this fun little project.

Which will probably also be the last year that he will let me dress him.

Speaking of dressing him... I often get emails asking where I get Boyfriend's clothes (since you get to see so many of them in these posts).

Ninety-nine percent of the clothes he wears, are hand-me-downs from a family friend that we are SO BLESSED and fortunate to know.

Obviously.

These clothes are awesome and if I've heard it once I've heard it a thousand times out of Husband, "If that was in my size I would wear it... if this was my size I would wear it."

Yada Yada... the kid has amazing clothes and we are so lucky to have them handed to us regularly.

In other Graduation news, Boyfriend's class has been rehearsing songs and getting ready for the big day.

I don't know for sure, but I assume this involves a cap and gown of some sort.

I say this because last week this exchange happened between Boyfriend and Husband while we were in the car:

"Hey Dad? What's that hat called that kids wear when they yeave a school?"

(In reality, Boyfriend asked three times before Husband answered, the man is good at tuning us out... but for the purpose of keeping it short, let's pretend he answered right away).

"Uh... a sombrero Bud."

"Oh, okay. Welp me and my friends are going to wear sombreros to Graduation and sing songs, and it is going to be so yove-y."

"Great Bud!"

(Me, interrupting....)

"You just told your son that he will wear a sombrero to graduate Pre-School."

Husband looking at me surprised: "I did? When?"

I have a feeling if Boyfriend actually wears a sombrero to Graduation that Husband will have a hard time tuning us out...

Maybe his teacher will be down for that??


4/16/14

He Said...

Boyfriend learned all about changing the world the other day at school.

On the way home, he gave me a nugget of wisdom that was just too good not to share.

He began...

"Hey Mom... you know how to change the world and make it better?"

"No Bud, how?"

"You gotta do stuff Mom... you can't just sit there, you gotta do stuff."

"You're right Bud... change takes action, right?"

"Yup! You know what I'm gonna do to change the world, Mom?"

"What Bud?"

"I'm just gonna keep doin' what I'm doing."

"Well alright then..."

"Yup I'm just gonna keep bein' Wolverine... and taking care of people."



As ridiculous as that sounds... his innocence for the simplicity of the world around him melted my heart.

I hope my little super hero never stops taking care of people... and always remembers that change takes action.

4/15/14

Sesame Live In Review

Last week thanks to the kind folks at the VEE Corporation I was able to take the kids to "Sesame Live! Elmo Makes Music".

One of my fondest memories of when I was little happened one morning that we thought was just another day.

My three siblings and I sat down for breakfast like we did every day, and my mom brought our cereal to the table.

But this time she was carrying it on a tray, which I thought was weird at the time, but now that I'm a Mom I know that she did this so that we would all get our cereal at the time.

Why?

Because perched on the edge of our bowls was a single ticket each.

We were headed to the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Show, in a LIMO...

And?

We were skipping school.

Best day ever.

I wanted desperately to recreate this moment for my own babies, but...

Considering Girlfriend still eats anything that is put in front of her, I feared she'd just pop that ticket right into her mouth like.. yum... lunch.

Instead I told them when they came into our bed in the morning for their daily snuggles.

They were thrilled to say the least... there was lots of jumping and squealing.

I tried really hard to find a Sesame Street shirt for Boyfriend to wear but kept turning up empty handed.

Luckily he didn't seem to care.


I also took my girlfriend Lu to be my extra set of hands.

Husband was totally broken up over having to work and not being able to go (yeh right).

We don't get to do stuff like this with the kids that often because for real... life is expensive!

Waaaaaay back, one hundred years ago (actually only three though), when we had only one child, we took Boyfriend to see Thomas Live.

Our tickets were like $75 A HEAD. As in for a two year old's seat.

I don't know why Thomas the Train thinks he is Jay Z or something, but people want to make their kids happy, so they pay the money.

Fast forward three years and two more kids later, and welp... we just can't afford that business anymore.

So consider me super, duper excited to take the kids to see Sesame Live fo' free.

(Sorry these pictures suck... I decided against editing them, so i-phone quality it is today...)


The second the music started playing I was slapping Boyfriend's leg and squealing.

We were a pretty animated bunch... people were staring.


Seriously that face... he looked like that almost the whole show.


The dancing was awesome and they sang so many classic songs that the whole audience was into it.

I have NO IDEA how the Hell the puppets mouths move while they sing... and by puppets I mean people in costumes...

I thought about it obsessively for the entire show so if anyone knows how the heck those mouths move... can you help a Sista out and tell me?


The biggest surprise of the whole show was that Baby Boy loved it more than anyone!!


I thought for sure he would sleep the whole time, but as soon as he heard chaos and music he started flailing for me to turn him around.

And once he faced the stage, he sat open mouthed and frozen in awe for the entire first half of the show.

Note that I said "first half".


I was totally bummed and disappointed that the show had an Intermission.

For real... we are dealing with two year olds... don't intermish (it's a word if I say it is).

By the time the Intermission was over there were kids all around me crying.

Luckily mine weren't among the ones in tears, but by the end they were all in my lap with heavy eyelids.


I would say for sure that the show ran a little too long and if I were to go again, I would lie and tell my kids it was over at the Intermission (just keepin' it real).

Ya know how sometimes if you push kids too far they are just gone and there is no getting them back??

Well, I think this production was reaaaalllllly pushing it with some of these little ones.

 I am really happy that we sat in the balcony and I would totally recommend it for shows like this.

It was nearly empty and made for easy boob-pullage-access if I needed to nurse mid show.

Also, Girlfriend is in that, "I need to see the bathroom everywhere I go.." phase and no one minded that she got up seventeen times to pee.

Except maybe Lu, who had to take her every time. Sorry Lu.

Other than that is was awesome.

Super high energy and except for the Intermission, no lulls, just go go go... which was perfect for my little Energizer Bunnies.

Girlfriend was booty shaking her face off, and even Boyfriend loved it (I pulled him out of school for the day) (cool Mom points for me).


I wondered briefly if he was too old for it but he was thrilled to go and never once said that Sesame is for babies.

We rounded out our perfect day with pizza and a nice long nap.

A free show, no tears, junk food and a nap at the end??

I'll take more of everything please!



4/14/14

She Dresses Herself...

We have hit the fashion stage around here.

I have to admit I kind of love it.

Girlfriend is not much for dolls, or TV shows... she has never really shown an interest in anything except arts and crafts, and now... shoes.

And pants, and shirts, and skirts, and dresses, and accessories, and alllll the fashion things.

If it's got animal print, or sparkles, or feathers then she is ALLLL about it.

She asks me every single day if we can match outfits.

It is so adorable I just want to squeeze her face off.

The Easter Bunny is bringing her a shirt that will match one of my shirts, and also a pair of flip flops to match mine.

But until the bunny brings the goods... she is picking out her own outfits and while she's at it... I am not allowed to have an opinion on them.

ORRR fix them.

Case in point... this little number.


Do you see it?


Do you see all of it?


Two different shoes. Two left feet.

But wait, there's more.

There's this.


Inside out and backwards jeggings... that she pulled out of her bin for next year so they are two sizes too big.


That flower in her hair? Those butt pockets on the front??

I will miss these days when she gets older...

The crazy looks I get from people in the store? Not so much...

But outfits like these....


You betcha.



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