3/3/14

The Day I Turned My Baby Blue

I'm back to talk about my boobs. Yay.

The Sweet Potato and I had a seriously bad case of thrush... if you don't know what that is, google it.

Anyway, we have thrush and my dots (dots= kid speak for nipples) were burning and painful and Boyfriend's little tongue was white.

No matter what we did, we couldn't kick this yeasty nuisance.

We tried oral meds, creams, probiotics, coconut oil, apple cider vinegar, white vinegar in water (side note: this actually helped a little).

I stopped wearing a bra altogether for three weeks.

I walked around topless every chance I got, and laid in the sunshine spots on the floor of my room like a cat trying to kill the yeast.

Nothing worked.

I was desperate... the lactation specialist at our Pediatrician wasn't calling me back and I had exhausted all of googles options.

Except... Gentian Violet.

I don't pretend to know what it is, which is why I avoided it until the Mid-Wife at my Gyno suggested I give it a try.

She was totally chill about it and was all, "Just wipe a little Vaseline on his lips so he doesn't turn purple."

I went ahead and bought the purple stuff, grabbed some cotton balls to apply it with, and applied some Vaseline to Baby Boy's little pucker.

Just a quick side note that this was Husband's first night away from home, so I was going for it with the Gentian Violet stuff all by myself... I felt like I was going to war.

It was scary!

When I first dipped the cotton ball into the blue stuff and put it on myself I knew instantly that using a cotton ball was a bad idea...

The shit was dripping everywhere... a Q-Tip would have been a better choice.

Next up I covered Baby Boy's little lips with Vaseline, and sat down to nurse.

I had prepped our bed before hand with navy blue towels and blankets so if any purple stuff got anywhere it wouldn't show.

You know what I forgot to prep?

His face.



Um HELLO... why the fuck didn't that lady tell me to just dump my whole freaking kid in the Vaseline??

Just moosh my baby all up in that tub of Vaseline.

Babies do not just perch themselves on your nipple like they are smoking a cigarette!!

They are all snuggly in that soft, warm mommy pillow.

And so... as I nursed quietly, waiting for the magic of Gentian Violet to work... I was SHOCKED when Boyfriend pulled himself sleepily off my boob...

I was expecting purple lips... NOT A PURPLE KID!

I panicked...like legit, "Holy shit holy shit holy shit!"

I started googling, "Remove Gentian Violet stains," as fast as my shaking fingers could type.

My poor baby was purple... like PUUUURPLE (say it deep).

I read that rubbing alcohol would remove some of the stains... except Husband used it to clean the couch.

Next up?? Vodka.

Down to the kitchen I ran, me and my purple boobs... thank God for an un-opened bottle of Absolut.

This is insane... I know.

I dabbed a teeny, tiny bit on a Q-tip and then tried to wipe off a tiny spot on the Dollface's cheek... it worked... it totally lightened the stain.


But try as I might, I couldn't get myself to wipe it all off... even though he looked FUCKING RIDICULOUS... I never got past that first wipe.

Everything I read said it was safe, but I kept thinking what if he gets drunk?!

I decided he was better off purple than he was hammered... so I left him alone to sleep... and be purple.

 
Over time it lightened up and came off his face... and within 12 hours he looked like this...


Within eighteen he was here... a little lighter, and matching his sister's pants.


I kept waiting for the relief but never really got any at all.

The next night Husband was home from his business trip and could help me Vaseline up the Baby before going in with the Gentian Violet again.

This time I instructed him to cover his entire face with the greasy stuff... and things went much smoother.

His lips and tongue and mouth and gums were still purple, but not his poor little face.

I gave up on the Gentian Violet because I felt freaking terrible looking at my poor little nugget turning purple.

Even though he was completely back to normal within 36 hours... I just couldn't stand the sight of him being purple.

I decided I would rather be uncomfortable and in pain than have my child look like Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.


I am told that Gentian Violet will work for thrush every time, no matter what.

So if you are struggling, and you can handle seeing your bambino turn purple, then I say go for it.

Just don't forget to PUT VASELINE ALL OVER THEIR ENTIRE HEAD.

Just kidding, not their whole head... but definitely their cheeks.

As for me and my little jelly bean....

We recently found out that we don't actually have thrush after all... and we never did.

Uggghhh.

Cue me face palming myself nine thousand times.

The Sweet Potato actually has a tongue tie... which means he can't really stick his tongue out and has been slowly and surely trying to murder me while he breast feeds.

I said from Day One that he has a vicious latch and now we know why!!

But don't worry... it's nothing a quick and harmless procedure can't cure.

Too bad I can't say the same for our bathroom counter top... that shit is fucked for life.


Woops.


2 comments :

  1. I.laughed.so.hard.I.cried.and.choked! My middle son had thrush and we went the gentian violet route. It was so embarrassing to take him out in public. The teenagers at church called him, "Purple Rain" (the year was 1985). Sweet Potato definitely surpassed my son in the purple department. You have a real champ there! Maybe a Mr. Clean Eraser would remove the stain on the counter top.

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