1/10/14

My Best Advice for New Moms

It's easy to get caught up with all the needs that our babies have... but if we don't take care of ourselves, mind, body, and spirit... then what good are we to others??

Ya know??

With that in mind, I am a HUGE advocate of having Mom friends.

I hear from a lot of my friends who are new to Motherhood, and even some readers, that don't really know what to do with their kids, don't know how to entertain them and are going nuts in the house.

I totally get that thinking because I basically laid on the couch with Boyfriend until he was 9 months old... and then realized I had no friends and no idea how to be a parent outside of relaxing.

So, being that we are about to have #3 pop out, I have been thinking about what kind of advice I would give to a new Mom... and this is it:

Make Mom friends.

Specifically, these three:

The one with a lot of kids.
The one who parents like you.
The one who doesn't parent like you.

My friend Chris is my friend with a lot of kids.

Four to be exact. Ranging in age from 16 to 1. Plus she's only 34. And they all have the same parents. I KNOW.

Having a friend like Chris, means always having a secret weapon in my back pocket. Here's the thing about women with a lot of kids:

THEY ARE SO CALM.

They have been through EVERY LAST THING EVER... and are always, always, always down to help.

AND.... they will always offer to watch your kids, because really??? What's one more when you have four? Right??

I also think it's pretty much essential to have a friend that parents like you.

And by that I mean... if you're a Stay at Home Mom, find another Stay at Home Mom friend... or if you are a teacher, find another teacher friend.

There is safety in numbers, and understanding as far as I'm concerned.

If it's midterms and you are feeling guilty about grading papers and not getting to spend time with your baby... chances are there is another Mom slash teacher that is too. Ya know??

Find a friend that lives and parents like you.

My friend Jen is that person for me.

Any time I need to get out of the house because the kids need some air, she is right there with me... needing air too.

It's so nice to have someone that also stays home and totally gets that my entire day depends on the moods of two tiny humans.

I never feel like I have to explain myself, she spends all her waking minutes with her child too, so she understands that it's a tough and wonderful job.

The last type of Mom that I think we should all be friends with, is someone that parents a little different from us.

Working Moms inspire me... I would love to have a job again one day.

First of all, I am in awe of them.

How the Hell do you take care of toddlers, work, and have a clean house?? HOW!?!?

I have a lot of Working Mom friends that I admire from afar.

My friend Amy is a teacher and runs the whole show at her house...

My friend Colleen started her own event planning business and still has time to raise a toddler.

My friend Kim has some big job that I don't understand, she travels a lot, speaks business language and has 3 normal, beautiful children too.

I don't know how you women do it... but I am happy to know that it can be done.

I am big on having an open mind... and aspire to be like these women one day... making it work with a job and a home.

Something happens to first time Moms... they decide the only way to do things is their way.

Only breast feed, only formula, only natural birth, only day care, only stay at home.

It's usually not until that second kid rolls around that you realize there is more than one way to eat a Reese's so to speak.

The truth is... Moms need other Moms... we are all in this together!!

My last piece of advice for new Moms... would be... call your Mom and say thank you.

And also?? Apologize.

Or maybe it's not your Mom... maybe your Dad or Grandma or Aunt raised you.

Whoever it was... say thank you.

There is going to come a time when your child is bouncing eggs off the floor and you're going to realize that your Mom is actually a Saint.

For me it happened two weeks ago when I had the flu, and had no one to help me.

I was 36 weeks pregnant, puking, and dealing with every single thing alone.

I called my Mom and told her I was sorry. I never understood how hard being a Mom is, and I never gave my Mom enough credit.

So one day... when everything seems tough... call whoever raised you and tell them that you are sorry, and thank them...

It will make their life.

Now go out and find some Mom friends so you can start yours.


1 comment :

  1. Brilliant!
    I'm soooooooo lacking in the Mom friends department. Maybe that's partly why I blog and read others' blogs :) Well, one friend (who's daughter is only 2 months older than mine) lives a few hours away, another is half an hour but watches other kids in the day when I'm free and a few others' kids are years older than mine and they're so busy! I need to find one who's free and lives near me. I figure as we enter the preschool days we'll get friendly with other parents. My husband often suggests that I find mommy & me classes or walking groups or something. Honestly, I'm not that outgoing with people I don't know. Bleh. Anyways, your last piece of advice is perfect. I have yet to apologize to my mom and thank her...directly. Subtly, maybe. But I really need to just flat out say it. Great post!

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