When we left off it was not going so well at Our Tiny Place.
The house had stopped leaking, but we still had no idea how to fix the clog and get our whole house put back together.
Sunday afternoon came and I decided that there was really nothing else Husband could do at this point, so I sent him to his friend's house to have a beer and watch some football.
The poor guy needed a break.
I wanted him to just enjoy his afternoon and told him we would figure out how to handle the leak and water later.
There was nothing pouring out anymore... the dishwasher had been murdered by water and a crowbar by that point.
Everything was dried up using 5,000 towels and I wasn't letting the kids flush, or bathe, and laundry was at a stand still... just in case.
I called a local plumber while Husband was gone and he assured me that it was okay to wash the dishes in a different sink, and to bathe the kids anywhere but the kitchen.
So while they napped, I dragged the still dirty dishes upstairs into the beach bathroom.
I figured I could put the kids in the tub and use one sink to wash and the other to rinse nine billion dishes at the same time... a family meeting of dishes and bathing in the bathroom, if you will.
I wasn't even one foot in the door when I got punched in the face by the most nasty smell ever.
I'm talking dirty diapers, and public restrooms, and old food, and dumpsters times ten.
I couldn't figure out where the Hell it was coming from, until I looked in the tub.
And saw all of the food from our garbage disposal... sitting in the bottom of the tub... covering the kid's bath toys.
Holding my nose, I peaked into the shower stall next to the tub and low and behold... there was more garbage disposal puke in there too.
I started gagging.
The smell was unbearable for my weak pregnant belly.
It turns out that every time Husband ran the garbage disposal in the kitchen... it was going up and barfing into our bathroom drains.
The first thing I did was grab a garbage bag and throw out all of the bath toys.
Then I took a picture and sent it to Husband, who immediately started diagnosing the problem with his friends while they drank beer and watched football.
Spoiler alert... no one was able to guess the real problem.
I called the Plumber back, in tears (again).
He was in utter disbelief that the food and water was not only going down, but that it was also going up in our house.
This was not looking good for us money wise... I knew that.... but I also knew enough not ask him to come out that day.
Sunday work for plumbers equals like $700 an hour.
I decided to just bleach the whole damn bathroom, do the damn dishes, and wait it out until Monday.
By the time Husband came home I had read every plumbing website on the world wide web and was pouring boiling hot water filled with Dawn down our kitchen drain with a vengeance.... (side note: This DID help, a very little bit)... but the clog stayed clogged.
Monday afternoon came and with it, more back up of our garbage disposal.
We had tried Draino, and looking into the main line, and the shop vac, and boiling Dawn water...but we eventually decided that it was time to throw in the towel and call the Plumber back.
Good thing we did, because we had absolutely no idea what we were really up against with this clog.
After an hour of trying to snake our pipes the Plumber found a huge blockage.... Of food.
I'm talking twenty five feet of food.
Backed all the way from our Main Line to our Kitchen sink.
I guess in most houses, the kitchen sink isn't so far from the main line, but in ours it is... so if we weren't running the water long enough to get the food allllll the wayyyyy out the main line... then the food essentially just sat still in the pipes.
Welpppppp... we never did that. Ever... so the food did just that, piled up and sat rotting in our pipes.
We would always just run the water long enough to not burn out the disposal, but never so long that the food would travel twenty five damn feet.
Thank God the Plumber started walking around touching the pipe in the basement until he found a very heavy spot.... which he cut open, and started pulling out pounds and pounds of old nasty food.
Now it was the Plumber's turn to gag... which he did.
He said it was probably piling up for a year or more.... which means... this could not be all my fault (phew!).
He filled two five gallon buckets of sludge before hitting a corner and not being able to do anymore sludge dumping.
He recommended that we keep using boiling water to move the food down the pipes and not use the disposal at all, for a long, LONG while.
He handed us a hefty bill to the tune of $250+ and left us with a still clogged, but much improved sink situation.
Now, two weeks later, after no disposal use and tons of water running down the drain, we think the clog is almost completely gone.
Being that it's Christmas and we have already spent tons of money on family, and the kids, and the Plumber, and the fridge, and the beds, and the mattress..... we just don't have the money right now to buy a nice new stainless steel dishwasher.
So...for now... I am the dishwasher and let me tell you... I never appreciated that thing enough, ever.
I should have kissed it daily. Why aren't people nicer to their appliances???!?!
Living in our home all day, everyday, (as opposed to some family's that spend most of their time out of the house) means we go through TONS of dishes.
It's been a rough couple weeks for us money wise... but we keep telling ourselves that these things, although expensive, and annoying, and stressful... are totally fixable.
We have our health, happy kids, a beautiful home... each other.
Even after the Mississippi River came pouring into our house on a quiet Sunday morning.... we have each other.
We have dry hands from doing so many dishes... it's fine.
We are blessed and fortunate in so many other ways, that a leak and a few dead appliances, and a plumber, and a disgusting clog.... really is just small stuff compared to the big stuff, ya know??
Immediately after all of this happened I called my Mom and cried, because that's what pregnant women who worry and have anxiety do... they call their Mom and cry.
And you know what she said? She said sit down and blog this right now.
Because even though I was crying, she could see the funny in this situation.
In the water gushing into our house and out our bath tub and the near puking Plumber...
She was laughing, even as I cried, and she knew that one day this would make me laugh too, because seriously... what the heck else is there to do??
I'll admit that even though it took me two weeks to get it all out... writing it did give me a chuckle... and hopefully it made you laugh too.
Hell... we have all been there when our Husbands are blaming shit on us and food is clogging our pipes and rotten food is shooting up through our ceiling drains... right??
No, just me???
Well then, I hope you laughed at me anyway.
And that... thank the Lord, Buddha, Oprah, the Elf on the Shelf, that Mensch on a Bench guy.... and all the good people in the world.... ends my, "When It Rains, It Pours," series of posts.
Imagine... I lasted through all of this without one single drop of alcohol.
There's gotta be some kind of award I should win for that, right???