11/7/13

You Know You're In You're Third Trimester When...

The other day I was walking through Home Depot with Husband and Girlfriend and I caught a man looking at my stomach.

I figured he was probably thinking, "Woah, holy beach ball woman..." and didn't really give it a second thought.

And then I got home, and  caught a glimpse of myself in full length mirror and saw the giant peanut butter smear... thick and fully edible, not mushed in at all... on the front of my shirt.

If it hadn't been hiding beneath my massive boobs... I might have noticed it..

But right now when I look down, all I see are giant boobs and nothing else sooo... if something lands on my belly, it's pretty much there for life.

Which is what inspired me to make this 3rd trimester list... and here we go.

You Know You're In You're Third Trimester When:

- More food lands on your stomach than in your mouth.

- Your pants stop at your bra.

- Your bra starts at your neck.

- Getting out of bed makes you feel like a sea turtle stuck on it's back.

- Moving in general makes you feel like a sea turtle stuck on it's back.

- Putting on shoes pretty much sucks.

- Socks suck too.

- People say douchey things like, "Wow! Are you sure there aren't two in there?"

- People suck.

- You wish that it was socially acceptable to just pee in bed... instead of walking to the bathroom 17 times a night.

- You take a deep breath and then throw yourself out of bed before walking to the bathroom 17 times a night.

- You named your heating pad and tell it you love it before bed every night

- You drop something on the floor and you're like... "How bad do I really need to pick that shit up??"

I could go on forever.....
 
**Disclaimer: I loved being pregnant with Boyfriend and Girlfriend and never felt sick or tired for one single day throughout either pregnancy. Being pregnant with #3, while taking care of #1, and #2... is where I will finally admit that being pregnant is hard work... and that all pregnancies are different. I am more tired now than I have ever been in my entire life... which is probably because I have a maniac two year old and a four year old to chase after... not because this baby is anymore work than the other two were. 




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3 comments :

  1. This is so beyond accurate I couldn't help but nod and shout YES louder and louder after each one. I look like a fool sitting here alone shouting at my computer.

    Might I add:

    You forget what everything south of the belly looks like.

    Annnnd

    The ridiculously loud grunt/sigh that happens every time you're finally able to sit the eff down.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hilarious!!!! I'm 20 weeks with my fourth, and this list made me laugh OUT LOUD. So true!!

    ReplyDelete

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