And Pre-School saved me.
Husband was gone almost every single week all summer long... Monday through Friday.
I was in my first trimester, sick... tired... chasing a two year old and a four year old.
It was hot.
I had almost no help at all.
People will always say they want to help you, they can babysit, give you a break... yada yada.
But driving an hour to drop off kids to turn around and drive home an hour to fold laundry makes no sense.
People want to help... sure they do.... on their terms. At their house. With their rules.
I swear you would think that we live in Alaska, it is that hard to get people to come see us.
And that's okay, because people have their own lives, and their own laundry to fold and shit to do.
Because I never wanted to compromise the type of life that the kids have grown accustomed to have... I never slowed down.
Every morning we were out the door and doing an activity by 9:30 am... we were back out the door at 4 pm after nap.
I kept them busy, and they kept me happy, but God was I tired.
I was pretty much in survival mode all summer long.
It was all I could do to keep the kids entertained and happy and the house clean and everyone fed and bathed and not face plant at 6 pm.
The house suffered, the laundry suffered, hell, I suffered, I quit the gym... I was exhausted.
But the kids were happy, and stimulated, and entertained... and that is all that mattered to me.
And on September 4, when Boyfriend went back to school, everything changed.
Pre-School was the light at the end of the tunnel for me.
Don't get me wrong, we miss the hell out of that kid while he is gone....
Girlfriend does this EVERY SINGLE MORNING when Boyfriend leaves for school...
We hate to see him go, but the time apart has been so wonderful for all of us.
And now I have 4 hours of time with just my Girlfriend, three days a week.
Ohandplusalso... the best part is... she is a total girl and has no problem running errands with me, shopping, letting me walk on the treadmill (okay, sometimes she struggles with that one), visiting 100 different parks, going on hikes...
We've done it all... and have the pictures to prove it.
She so deserves this one on one time.
Hell Girlfriend even helps me fold laundry, dry dishes, sweep... if I'm doing it, she wants to do it too.
I am loving our time together and I feel like I am suddenly able to divide my time in all directions, some for the house, some for Husband, some for the laundry, some for me....
I've even managed to squeeze in the occasional individual date nights at the end of the day for each kid.
I am no longer just trying to keep the kids happy and make it to bed time.
Every SINGLE time I drop Boyfriend off at school I am struck by how sad I am to see him go...
While he is gone I CONSTANTLY wonder what he is doing, who he is playing with....
But... for as much as I worry while he is gone, I know just how good this time is FOR ALL OF US.
Every single one of us is benefiting from Pre-School, and I can honestly say, without question, Pre-School is the best money that we have ever spent.
Boyfriend is flourishing, he is happy all the time...
Girlfriend is speaking so much and so fast .. she is making HER OWN FRIENDS (not just Boyfriend's).
Chores at home are getting done on time, with energy to spare...
And I am suddenly remembering to worry about myself again.
Having a few hours to get stuff done with just one kid is SO MUCH EASIER than doing it with two.
Life is not full speed ahead right now, it is a little calmer, and a lot more organized.
I know that in a few months it will get crazy again... but for now, I'm telling Husband that maybe we don't need to move to be closer to help.
Maybe... just maybe... at least for now.... I got this.