He Said...

Today Boyfriend's class had a field trip to a Dance Center.

I'm not positive of all the details but it's basically a studio that offers all kinds of acro / dance / artsy fartsy things.

While trying to find out details about his day, this exchange happened:

Me: Who taught your class??

Him: A ballerina.

Me: Oh wow! What was she wearing?!

Him: Um... you know those things you put on your boobs?? She was wearing that.

Me: (slow blinks....deep breath... what the fuhhh) You mean, a bra?

Him: Yeh, but smaller.

Me: (slow blinks... deep breath... thinking.. thinking....)

Him: I don't know... but I was on a leash.

It was at this point that I was like seriously what the fuck kind of field trip did this child go on, and I texted my friend whose son is also in the class.

I'm all:

So... Boyfriend says the Ballerina was wearing something that you put on your boobs... please tell me your kid has a better explanation.

And she's all:

My kid says there was no ballerina.


Makes total sense that my child would see an invisible ballerina wearing what I can only imagine must have been nipple tassels and no one else saw her.

I did figure out however, that each kid was put on an orange "leash," because the studio is within walking distance from the school, and sixteen 3 and 4 years olds plus 3 adults equals a need for leashes.

Unfortunately for Boyfriend, the first Field Trip of his life was apparently to a strip club... which means sadly, nothing else will ever compare.

Sigggggh... poor little guy.


Immediately after posting this blog, Boyfriend's teacher sent out some pictures from their day.

I was thrilled to see that they were indeed at a dance studio, with an actual dance teacher (aka: Ballerina)... who was wearing a TANK TOP... not, pasties.

There's my main man learning to do a somersault under the watchful eye of the ballerina...

And here he is on his "leash"....

Which as it turns out, is just a long rope with wrist holes for the kids to stick their little mitts through.

I feel one hundred times better now that I know my child wasn't handing out dollar bills on his first Field Trip.

So let's move on to something totally PG and non nipple tassel related: Can anyone Guess what day it is??


  1. This is hilarious. Your kid has quite the imagination!

  2. BAhahaha! That's amazing. Makes me wonder what kind of nonsense my students have blabbed to their parents over the years..about me and my class. I do know that they spill many beans about their parents! Your son is pure comedy.

  3. My friend Lisa and I are always trying to combine stories to figure out what our girls did at school. We have yet to have a story this interesting though.


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