7/26/13

Coming Out On The Other Side

So I mentioned once or twice that going away for the Fourth of July really effed up our schedule and discipline around here.

Well, after two LONG, INCREDIBLY HARD weeks... I am happy to say that Boyfriend has come out on the other side of the temper tantrum, rude, obnoxious, fresh child act.

Thank You Jeeee-Zus!

I can honestly say that since we got home on July 5th... parenting has been harder for me than ever before.

Boyfriend was spoiled rotten on vacation, and anything Husband and I said was instantly ignored because there were other adults to take his side, and give him what he wanted.

Since being home, there was no other way to handle the situation than to be a helicopter Mom, constantly hovering... that is there for every move, every minute... you name it.

One night, after three hours of trying to get Boyfriend into bed, I gave up... and said, "If you have to poop, take yourself to the bathroom, wipe your own butt, and put yourself back in bed."

It was 11 pm when he shoved two entire rolls of toilet paper down the toilet.

That's how it went for two weeks... acting out, demanding attention, yelling at Husband and I.

It was awful.

And his behavior was reeking havoc in our home... we were all exhausted, and short tempered... it was freaking rough for awhile there.

But then Husband went away for a week for work, and Boyfriend, amazingly, calmed down...

He had my undivided attention, and I worked on nothing else except getting him back on track.

It took a little give and take on both ends... he had to calm down, and so did I.

At the end of two weeks I was a frantic lunatic... but the second Husband went away I was able to focus on Boyfriend's behavior, and together we were able to push past the tough spots.

These days, he is helpful, kind, and understands that what I say goes... at least for now.

He is smiling a lot more, and Thank God for this one... he's sleeping again.


Knock on wood, our good boy seems to be back.

Of course, he is still four, and an older brother... so he terrorizes his sister and still wants everything to be about him...

But he is doing so much better, and enjoys being my little helper.

It is bittersweet to watch him grow into a real little person with feelings and opinions, and I know he will continue to challenge us every day of his life...


I had never seen Boyfriend have a temper tantrum before and I hope to never see one again.... once was enough.

My heart goes out to parents whose children have them regularly... andplusalso... HOW DO YOU FUNCTION??

Thankfully, the tough guy act was just a phase, and we are so so grateful.



Because there really is no right way to have a bad day, and all parents wonder if what they are doing today, will be the topic of conversation in therapy in twenty years.

Thankfully, we moved past this test with no battle wounds and only a few tears (from both him, and I...)

After many long nights, I am happy to pass my very best parenting tip on to anyone who might need it for a rainy day...

These past two weeks taught me two things:

1 - I (you) are the adult. Do not take orders from a child.

2- Four year olds are people too... and while they're feelings are valid, they should not dictate the way an entire household functions.


Andplusalso... tomorrow can always be better, if you let it.


2 comments :

  1. This happens to our three year old every time my parents babysit. Every. Time.
    Once when we were visiting my parents, he sassed of to my mother. My husband took him aside for a time out, my dad came around the corner and said, "He didn't do anything wrong. He doesn't need to be punished in this house." Thank. God. I married a man who doesn't take shit from anyone because we would have really serious problems with our kids otherwise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It absolutely infuriates me when another adult undermines my authority... do you have any tips for not turning into someone that wants to kick another grown person??

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