6/27/13

He Said

While putting Boyfriend to bed:

Him: Can you sing me a song??

Me: Sure, how about, 'You Are My Sunshine'??

Him: Nah... How about, 'Riders On The Storm'??

((Insert wtf face here.))

6/26/13

Sanus Full Motion TV Wall Mount Giveaway!!

If you have kids and you don't have your TV mounted on the wall yet, then this Giveaway is for you!!

Plus, side note... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

Did you know that every three weeks a child dies from a TV tipping over??

For real.

And that every 45 minutes a child visits the ER with a TV tipping related injury??

I know! I had no idea!!

But if you think about it... TV's are getting larger and skinnier all the time, which makes it that much easier for a child to accidentally knock it over.

Don't picture it... it's scary.

Instead, be pro-active to prevent it from ever happening...  and get those TV's mounted on the wall, people!!

SANUS, the leading designer and manufacturer of flat panel TV wall mounts wants to educate parents about the dangers of tipping TV's and help you keep your babies safe.

Can you believe they care so much about your baby that they are giving away one full motion wall mount to an Our Tiny Place reader??

I know... I think I love them.

Talk about a cool prize.



Plus, they want to help you get it up on the wall... which is good because I sometimes find anything that requires installation a little bit intimidating.

But SANUS offers an online video to help you through your install, as well as customer support 6 days a week, plus..... all the tools you'll need are right in the box.

Making it easy to keep our babies safe.. love that.

The SANUS F180 Full Motion (translation: you can turn that TV any which way folks) Wall Mount prize retails at Wal-Mart stores nationwide for around $90.... but if you fill out the Rafflecopter below, it could be yours FO FREE!!

So.... what are you waiting for??!!

An upgrade for your home, that is safe and looks good??!!

Yes please!!

Good luck!!


a Rafflecopter giveaway


PS... Sorry folks, but this contest is for residents of the US of A residents only. 



6/25/13

Figuring Out Four

Boyfriend has hit the terrible four's.

Or the, "Eff You Four's," as my Mother likes to refer to them.

Basically, this is a new stage where he knows it all... ignores everything I say.

Listening is not his strong suit.

I thought I wouldn't have to worry about this until he turned 16, but apparently he is a few years ahead of the game.

Yay.

He is still my little doll, and loves his Mama...


But something about going out in public makes our little man think he is a tough guy... and he is getting VERRRY fresh.

I am having a hard time with it and hate not being able to have an answer for everything that my kids throw my way.

It's my nature to just be on top of it all... but sometimes, you just can't... sometimes they enter a new phase and you're like what the fucking fuck do I do to make this stop??

I got to thinking about this because one of my friends has a newborn, and he's is giving her trouble sleeping (as newborns are known to do)... and sometimes she doesn't know what to do or how to handle it....

I'm on that same playing field with Boyfriend... who is four years older, and stumping me and frustrating me all the same.

We are all trying to figure out the happy medium that can keep our babies happy, loved.... and not acting like spoiled brats.

We are all just trying to avoid the next melt down.... am I right??

Boyfriend's behavior on play dates has been on a downward slope for about a month now (since he got spoiled rotten on his birthday... hmmmm) , and although it makes me FURIOUS when he acts fresh.... I know that this is normal kid stuff.

And that all kids do it...

But no Mom wants their kid to act out... it affects the whole family when someone is acting like they shouldn't.

I try not to take it personally, but I do!

And it's the worst when we get in the car and Boyfriend is instantly like, "Mom. I was so fresh! I am so sorry, I yuv you, will you still marry me my Beautiful Mom?"

Yes... he is a suck up, but he means it too.

He can just be so damn sweet when he wants to be, which is why when he acts like a little troll on play dates, I get so frustrated!!

If only kids came with a book that said how to handle them at every age and stage... starting with conception.

Sadly, if such a book exists, my kids didn't show up with it.

So I'll keep trying to get Boyfriend to cut the 'tude in public, while other Moms try to get their kids to eat veggies, or sleep, or read, or put down the cell phones....

We all have something that we're working on... these kids are a work in progress, ya know???

Every day is a new phase, a new challenge, and a new chance to be a better listener...

And a better Mom.

I'll take it.


"A boy's best friend is his mother."
- Psycho

6/24/13

A Trick Worth Remembering

So... last week when my car broke down, Husband had to fly to Chicago for the week for work.

Of course he did.

So the Bugs and I used his teeny sporty little perfectly clean Acura while he was gone.

There was only one rule.

No red juice or food allowed in Husband's car.

Listen... I have always been one of those people who kinda hears the rules but doesn't really pay attention to them for shit... you know the type??

So, I'm just gonna say I have no idea how this happened... I don't really remember giving Girlfriend red juice in the car, but somehow, she got it... and spilled it.


FML people. FML.

We I broke the only rule.

This happened the day he left, Monday.

I avoided looking at it until Thursday, (the day before he came home) when I finally had to bite the bullet and handle the now set in stain.

First I grabbed my trusty Kirby carpet cleaner, because it's my fav and it has never let me down... and then it let me down and did absolutely nothing.

Then I googled around and found a tutorial made especially for red juice on car carpets, and I said a prayer, and went for it.

Guys... it worked.

This is a trick worth knowing and remembering.

What I used: Blue Dawn, (the original kind, that once took spray paint off my porch!), a white rag, and an iron.


For the record, you know I was in deep shit when I actually pulled out the iron.

A few things about me and the iron.

I didn't even know where it lived in my house.

I didn't know how to work it, and I haven't used one since I was 19 years old and Husband (then Boyfriend) watched me literally light one of my shirts on fire.

True Story.

Anyway... back to the iron.

The funny thing is Husband didn't ask me why I wanted to know how to use the iron.

Dumb.

He should have known something was up.

Anyway, the directions said to put 5 drops of Dawn into two cups of water.

I didn't do that (remember, I ignore the rules, right?).

I took a small cereal bowl, gave the Dawn a good hard squeeze, and then filled the bowl 3/4 of the way up with warm water.

The directions said to dip the white rag into the water and dawn mixture so that the rag was wet, but not sopping.

I actually followed that rule.

Next the directions said to put the iron on low (this is the part where I called Husband and asked how to do that), and leave it on the stain for 15 minutes.

Being that the last time I touched the iron it acted less than neighborly, I followed this rule as well... with caution.

I was very scared.

But it worked. Sloooowly.

You can see the red lifted onto the white rag here.... but it was a super duper slow process.


So I got a little more ballsy (translation: broke the rules again), and cranked the heat a little more, and let it sit for no more than a minute before removing the iron.

This worked faster and better... but you have to be there to watch it.


And in no time at all, the stain was going, going....


Gone.


After I took this picture I went back and did a little more ironing and the Dawn got out even more of the juice, this trick is no joke and works like a freaking charm.

I was shocked because I don't actually have good luck with things like this...  plus I was totally anticipating Husband putting me on the curb with a For Sale sign around my neck when he found the red stains.


Lucky for all of us... I get to stay, and the red stains are gone!!!


6/21/13

I Keep Meaning To Blog...

But then Summer keeps happening;

And it's not only more fun than blogging, but it's also more delicious....


You understand, right??




6/18/13

It Was A Long Weekend...

First... I had an allergic reaction to Godknowswhat, and broke out in hives.

Then my eyes swelled shut.

I looked so crazy that when I casually looked in the mirror at 5:45 am and said... "Hey Babe, I think I need to go to the Hospital..." Husband actually JUMPED out of bed.

Just threw the covers off and started running around the room.

At 5:45 am.

For a man that hates the morning, that is something.

I am pretty sure he was also praying that I wouldn't; A) die and B) look at him.

I was not cute.

One visit to the ER later and the hives were mildly under control...

This is considered "better":


Twenty four hours later and my hives were just subsiding when my car broke down.

On the side of the Highway.

Yay.

We waited 45 minutes to be picked up while cars whizzed by and the kids acted like insane caged beasts who wanted to be set free on the side of a Highway.

Holding them still was a workout... I was stressed, and sweating.

Which made my hives come back.

Yay.

Lucky for us, we were all together.

Everything is easier when we are together.

My Father in Law came to the rescue, followed by the Pharmacist who handed me some steroids and stopped my hives from spreading any further.

Now that it's Tuesday, I can laugh at how terrible Saturday and Sunday were.

My eyes aren't swollen, and my car is getting fixed because the problem ended up being a recall issue.

So all is well in love and puffy eyes.

Oh and these two...


Are happy as Hell about being able to ride in Daddy's car while mine is in the shop.

You can always count on children to keep you focused on the simple and good things around us... we should all be such happy little souls.


6/13/13

I Will Never Understand

If you've been reading for awhile, you know that people often google "Can I Febreze my vagina?" and find their way to my blog.

You see, once I wrote a post with the word "Febreze," in it... and another time I wrote a post with the word, "Vagina," in it... and well, here we are... at Dr. Our Tiny Place.

It is insane how often "vaginas and Febreze," comes up in the Popular Search category on my blog... (which is basically what people are googling to find me)... for real, there are some strange people out there.

Yesterday when I checked my top searches for the day, at 8 AM... FOUR people had already googled this... which was a new, and disturbing one, even for me:


IN IT?!

You got it IN THERE?

Like not on purpose?? Or even worse... on purpose but then like woops, I take it back??

How the eff does one get Febreze IN their vagina?

Nude house cleaning??

You know what... I don't even want to think about it... it is making me feel all burn-y, and I can imagine the scene would smell like body, fresh laundry, and sin.

Once again... for those of you in the back with the burning lady bits...DO NOT USE FEBREZE ON YOUR VAGINAS.

GO TO THE DOCTOR!! GET A PRESCRIPTION!! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TAKE A SHOWER!


Dermagist Review and Giveaway!

You know you are getting old when company's start contacting you to sample their Wrinkle Cream.

((Missing from photo is the Instant Effect Lifting Serum.))

For real.

My skin is starting to show signs of the beatings that I gave it in High School when I wore SPF Negative 50 and laid in the sun until I looked like a leather purse.

Not kidding.

The truth is... sometimes when I am spraying Boyfriend's little Polo shirts with Wrinkle Remover I often wonder if I could just spray it right on my face??

Kill a few birds with one stone kinda thing?

Lucky for me, I heard from  Dermagist about their Complete Rejuvenation System, and rather than spray my face with something made for clothing... I decided to give it a try.

I was actually like: "Yes! De-wrinkle my face!"

I wasn't the least bit offended that someone thought I needed Wrinkle Smoother and a Complete Rejuvenation... nope, not one bit.

After a month of using the system, I have both good and bad things to say.

First off... the system is great... and does work.

All of the products felt like good quality on my skin, did not make me break out, and dare I say... may actually be helping to reduce my laugh lines wrinkles.

They also feel very similar to some of the Arbonne products I have used in the past ( I am not picky, except for my Sibu face wash, I will try anything on my face), but don't come with an Arbonne price tag.

Now for the bad... I was unimpressed by the bottles that had push tops.

No matter how often I used them, I still had to bash the Hell out of those tops four or five times to get the product out.

But once I actually got it out... I really liked the quality and will continue using it.

My favorite was the Wrinkle Smoothing cream, it is so THICK, without feeling caked on.

Want to try the Complete Rejuvenation System  for yourself??

Fill out the Rafflecopter below for your chance to win!


a Rafflecopter giveaway


6/12/13

Wordy Wednesday

Summer is in full swing over here...

Which to a Mom of two young ones means: I am entertaining my children non-stop, trying to get their energy OUT OUT OUT, while keeping their current nap schedule, and still being able to function as a wife at the end of the day.

People... it is hard to keep everyone happy and entertained.

Gone are the 5 hours a week that Pre-School gave me to take care of our house and myself and have one on one time with my Girlfriend.

Instead, we have full long days where the kids rise extra early (because the sun is up at like 4 am... wtf is up with that you stupid sun?)...

I try to do a different activity every morning, have nap, and then another small activity in the afternoon, before dinner, bath, and bed.

But people. I am running out of ideas.

Yesterday, it was overcast and drizzly and just pretty disgusting out in general.

But, we've had a ton of rain lately, and even though I am The Rain's #1 Fan... there is only so many days in a row that the kids can watch movies and stomp in the puddles in the front yard.

So I grabbed my favorite (only, but still favorite) babysitter, the Bugs, and the rain gear, and we took off for a quiet pond near our house.



It was the type of thing where I would have gotten exhausted chasing them on my own, but with two of us, it was actually relaxing, and we were able to stay for nearly two and a half hours with no complaints.

My Girlfriend, aka, Dr. DoLittle, was all about the poor baby geese who were just minding their own business as she came barreling at them screaming, "HEY DUCKS! YOU SEE ME!?"


I didn't bring any toys, just a few hot dog buns to feed any potentially hungry ducks, and that's it.

It's been months since we last visited this pond, and I wasn't sure what to expect, especially with the rainy weather... but the kids loved it!

The kids stomped in the big sand puddles, threw five thousand sticks and rocks into the water (only narrowly missing each other's heads a few times), picked flowers, chased the poor baby geese, and fed one lonely duck.


We had such a great time and the kids came home and both slept for three hours... thank you fresh air and muddy waters!!



It just goes to show you that kids are always happy to be outside, rain or shine, water up to their knees or snow up to their faces.... as long as it involves getting dirty... they are usually in.

We should all be so easy to please.


6/11/13

Sandbox

I love our new sandbox so much.

I even told it.

After I swan dived into it and made sand angels while singing, "You Are My Sunshine."

I realize that this probably makes you think I am a nut job...

Which is fine, because after you whisper to the sand that it is soft and beautiful and such a good friend....

Being a nut job is pretty much par for the course.

Ya know?

Anyway.. Husband made Boyfriend a sandbox for his birthday.


It ended up being kind of pricey at just over $250, but it was totally worth it.

Even after I went to Lowe's and had 3 bags of sand open up ON MY FACE while I was loading them onto one of those flat cart things.

And because when sand starts falling from above your head onto your face your mouth automatically opens to say, "SHIIIITTTTTT," I went home with pounds of sand in MY ESOPHAGUS...

But it was still worth it... sandy mouth and all.

It was a huge hit at Boyfriend's birthday party, and the next day, after all the Junior Rangers had long since left, the Bugs got to break it in themselves.

And that... is when the skies opened and the angels looked down on our family and smiled.

Cause do you want to know what happened? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

The kids played.

Quietly.

And together.

They didn't ask for Sippies, or food.

They didn't ask for help, they didn't ask to be picked up, or wiped.

They. Just. Played.

While Husband and I sat near by, in lawn chairs, soaking up some sun.

Dave Matthews sang from a stereo in the distance, and Husband and I just sat in the backyard, together, watching our babies, listening to music, and enjoying the sunshine.

The last time Husband and I laid out together at the same time was OUR HONEYMOON... in 2007.

Plus, hello, people... I got to SIT!!!

And if you know me at all, you know I am not a sitter, I am a "run around like a chicken with my head cut off-er"...

But for nearly two glorious hours on that beautiful Sunday morning... no one needed me to chase them, to wait on them, to carry them, to push them on the swings, to help them in the tree fort... nothing... no one needed me, and so, I sat.

It was amazing, not just for us, but for them too, because I think everyone does better with a little space and fresh air.

So for around $250, some sand in my stomach, and a few trips to Lowe's...

We got to have an entire morning of peace and quiet...

My senses were on high alert because I am not used to sitting still, so I can tell you exactly what it smelled like, looked like, sounded like... and even tasted like (sand, duh)...


But instead, I'll just say this; It. Was. Wonderful.







6/5/13

Lovebug's Birthday Bash, Part 2

When we left off last, I was trying to force feed the Power Ranger into the faces of 8 kids, 5 and under.

Actually... I only had to force 6 kids, cause my two are already obsessed with the Samurais (for real... it's frightening).

My plan for the party was to tell the kids they were going to a Samurai Power Ranger Training Camp...

They would complete three games, and then win their medals at the end.

Nice idea, right?

Except when you're dealing with kids ages 1-5... no one really listens, or wants to take part in organized games.


There was a lot of chaos and a lot of deep breaths on my end...


Eventually I just gave the kids every last water balloon that we had so painstakingly filled earlier (all 50 of them!), turned on the sprinkler and said eff it... have a ball.

 
I will do the same thing the next time I host a party for a 4 year old too... organized games, as it turns out, are for 5 year olds.

It wasn't the end of the world because the sprinkler saved the day... and I knew that before the kids left they would have their minds BLOWN.

Because the BLUE POWER RANGER CAME!

The real one!

Okay, not the real one...  But the one that I found after searching and searching and SEARCHING FOREVER for a company that does costume character visits in Connecticut...

And he was close enough to the real one!

I never had a character come to any of my birthday parties growing up, and I had pretty much ruled it out as too expensive for us to do for the Bugs.

But then I found Spark Of The Party, and not only were the prices in our price range, but they also agreed to do just a quick 15 minute, in and out visit, at Boyfriend's party.

That wasn't an option on their website, but they were happy to oblige when I emailed and asked anyway.

You see... being that the party was full of young guns who couldn't be trusted to act like normal human beings, I wanted to keep the visit short, exciting, and sweet.

It would have really killed the mood if all 8 kids burst into tears when the Blue Power Ranger rolled up, ya know??

But they didn't cry! No one did! It went amazing!!!

Before the Ranger made his appearance for the kids,  I gave him a costume to give to Boyfriend from "Jayden, the Red Power Ranger", who is Boyfriend's favorite.

There was so much going on that Boyfriend didn't even realize that I had quietly gone into the house to get the costume and go over last minute details with Mr. Blue Ranger himself.

 

I also gave him a basket full of the bubble swords that I had made for each of the kids. 

We had just finished cake and all of the kids were getting restless and trying to go in 19 directions, when we heard the Power Ranger's theme song blasting from off the deck.

Boyfriend's face was priceless... I wish I had a picture... but my eyes were glued to the side of our deck just waiting for the Power Ranger's grand entrance.

As was the entire party.

Seriously... I thought I was getting the Power Ranger for the kids, but all of the parents were super into it too.

Anyway... up the deck stairs came the Power Ranger with his theme song blaring (that was such a good touch... Boyfriend has talked about it 100 times since it happened).

Then he walked right up to my Boyfriend, gave him his costume from "Jayden," and asked for a big hug.

Boyfriend about died on the spot. 


The Power Ranger was AWESOME... he hugged and shook hands with any kid that was bold enough to approach him (remember some had no idea what a Power Ranger was an hour earlier).


He even picked up two bubble swords, one for him and one for Boyfriend, and started JOUSTING with him.


Boyfriend won.. another nice touch on the Power Ranger's part.

The whole shebang took about 10 minutes from start to finish, he gave out all the bubbles, posed for pictures with anyone who asked, and totally hammed it up for Boyfriend.


I turned around to survey the crowd at one point and literally every parent was grinning and laughing.

The excitement from the kids was totally infectious and the whole party was caught up in it.


It was awesome and such a fun thing to do... plus, not for nothing, but it was totally the gift that keeps on giving.

Boyfriend has told no less 100 people (okay maybe a few less) about how the Blue Power Ranger came to his party, and we have talked about it every day since.

It is also worth noting that I do believe this is the first time in his life that Lovebug has ever felt true gratitude. 

He isn't sure how we made it happen, but he knows Husband and I are the reason that the Blue Power Ranger made an appearance on his big day.

And he has repeatedly thanked us and told us what a lucky ("yucky") boy he is.

As if that didn't make the whole thing worth it for me... someone else was equally as excited and grateful for the Blue Guy's appearance: Husband. 

His reaction was a huge shock (to both of us) because Husband was the one who originally told me no,"it's too much money, and silly... don't waste your time searching."


Let's just say Husband has eaten every one of those words since the Blue Ranger showed up here because there is nothing that Husband likes more than seeing Boyfriend happy.

And that kid... was OVER THE MOOON... seriously... Spark of the Party and the Blue Power Ranger made our little man's birthday this year.

We are so grateful!!

Especially because it was 100 degrees out ... Lord knows that Blue Guy musta been sweating his ass off... 

But this little man is young enough not to care, and wore his "uniform" with pride for the rest of the day weekend.


Now if only the Power Ranger made free repeat house calls every once in awhile, we'd be all good.


6/4/13

Lovebug's 4th Birthday Party, Part 1

Boyfriend proved to be a pain in the butt when he decided last minute that he no longer wanted a Ninja Turtle party, and instead wanted a Samurai Power Ranger party.

I had already planned how I would make each child their own shell with their name on it and what I would do for favors... yada, yada, yada.

And then he asks for the Samurai Ranger deal and I found myself back at square one.

Actually... I was at negative square one.... because at least there is such a thing as Ninja Turtle party decor...

But the big box stores have yet to catch on to the Samurai craze, and so I was left to my own devices as to how to make this party Samurai-ish.

Even the Inter-webs all but failed me with party ideas... there were so few Samurai parties out there, let alone age appropriate ones... so I literally had to USE MY OWN BRAIN for ideas.

I know... it scared me too.

I started with the invite... which I WAS able to find on line through a long search of google images.

I used PicMonkey to change around all the words, and add a few extra lines.

Then I had 13 copies printed at Walgreens for 2 bucks.

They were printed on photo paper, and I ordered two extras; One for the fridge and the other for Boyfriend's scrap book.

I have every birthday invitation he's ever had in there... because I think it will be so fun to look back on when he gets older.


Plus I am sappy, and a loser.

Next I ordered him his own Samurai t-shirt to wear at his party.


He asked for one and he used his baby blues on me so I caved and bought it instead of spending three hours making one.


The shirt was totally worth me NOT wasting a full night trying to make my own and then just effing it up anyway.

The cake was made by Husband's super talented cousin... and it was AWESOME.

I searched everywhere near us for Samurai stickers and tattoos but kept coming up empty handed... but I found these on Amazon, and they were perfect and came super quick.


I had a friend of mine set up a little tattoo station and the kids loved it!!


We sing the ABC's two times through in our house when applying tattoos, so it was cool to see all the little guys busting out their ABC's while they got tatted up.

I think goodie bags full of candy are kind of lame, so instead I went to a local trophy shop and bought blank medals for $2.95 a piece.


Then I bought this Activity book...


And used some stickers on the front and back to make my own custom Samurai medals ... they came out so cool!!


I also bought each kid a "bubbles sword," from Wal-Mart for 97 cents.

Then I used the left over stickers from the activity book to Samurai them up... 


So for $36 I had totally unique favors for the kids, and no one even noticed the lack of candy!

I also printed out Samurai printables from google images... and put some crayons on the table in case any of the kids decided they needed a break from the chaos.

I tried really hard to have lots of Power Ranger details because first of all, Boyfriend loves them... and second... I knew a lot of the kids invited had no clue who they were.

So I was trying to be in their face about the Rangers... thinking maybe we could make a new fan out of one of them??

If all of this didn't convert them... what happened next sure as Hell got their attention...

But I'll save that for Part 2.

Until then... Go Go Power Ranger.

6/3/13

Kids Are Disgusting

Today I had this repulsive exchange with my son.

Me: "Hold still, you've got a booger on your nose."

I lean in, grab the booger, and flick it into the lawn.

Him: "HEY! I was gonna eat that!"


I am not sure what is worse... that he legit wanted to eat that booger, or that he has no problem YELLING it from the top of his lungs.

6/2/13

Vitacost Giveaway!!

It is no secret that I have a google problem.

I am obsessed with searching for the best possible deal for hours on end.

I know... I'm cheap.

One day, I was being a scavenger and trying to save a few extra bucks on my Husband's protein powder when I stumbled onto Vitacost and found the best prices... like on everything.

Seriously, like a few bucks or more less than the competitors... I know because I have no life and I searched THEM ALL!

Since that original protein powder purchase, I have started buying all of our Vitamins from them... turns out being healthy doesn't have to be super duper expensive.

Who knew??

So when Vitacost contacted me to try their new line of Children's Gummie Vitamins, it was pretty much a no brainer.

Plus, our kids love Vitamins!

For awhile I was buying ones with Lightning McQueen on them, or Iron-Man or whatever, just to get them excited for their Vitamins.

Before long I realized that it doesn't matter whose on the jar... they like them because THEY TASTE LIKE CANDY.

The Bugs come SCREAMING, full speed ahead, into the kitchen when I tell them they can have a Vitamin.

I love that they think they are treats.


Boyfriend is OBSESSED with the ones without the little sugary stuff on the outside...

And of course Girlfriend likes the ones with the sugary stuff.


Sidenote: That might not be sugar at all, it just looks like it... It could be unicorn freckles, or kisses from Ghandi for all I know.

Since I'm all about comparative shopping, I did a little digging and of course, Vitacost's price on these Children's Gummies hands down the best around....especially for how many come in the package.

Want to get some cheap, healthy stuff for yourself??

Enter to win a $50 gift card to Vitacost below.

Good luck!




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