WTF KID... I thought we had a deal.
I hatch you... and you stay little and be my baby forever and ever, Amen.
WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR DEAL?!?
Picture me crying in a river... just in the river... crying.. buckets.
How can this be?!?!
I swear he was just a newborn...
As a matter of fact, four years ago TODAY... my baby was due!
And then nine days later... he was born... and then I blinked, and we were here:
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??
Picture me climbing out of the river, finding a rope, making a lasso (cause that would happen), throwing it around the Earth and digging my heels into the ground like... STOP TURNING YOU DAMN PLANET.
YOU ARE MAKING MY CHILD OLD.
Make it stop.