And I instantly became the person that I had always wanted to be... a mother.
I think when I first got pregnant I worried about having a newborn, and a toddler, and a baby who would put things into his mouth.
I thought about things like Proms, and College, and him finding a wife, and getting married one day.
But somehow... I forgot about the middle.
And that is what we are entering today... the middle... the childhood part.
The part with bikes, and soccer practice, and homework, and a second year of pre-school that ends with a poster board cap and gown... the part that includes Kindergarten, and bus rides, and field trips, and eventually... girls.
The no longer a baby, actually a full blown child, part.
I am excited and scared to take this journey with my little bestie... my sweet and loving son.
Who still calls me beautiful every single day of his life.
Who still climbs into bed with us every morning to snuggle, who would eat nothing but hot dogs every day if I'd let him.
My little boy whose eyes are so blue and so gorgeous that they make my stomach hurt... who is the most ticklish child to ever walk the Earth.
Who loves with a fierceness that makes his legs shake and his eyes squinty...
And who has grown into a tiny, defiant dictator, who would rather run the room, than watch it be run.
"Old age," has brought uncertainty and shyness in new places for my Boyfriend....
But give him a parade, a new baby, a kite in the sky, a ball in a net, a cake on a table, a good movie, a rainy day, or a hose to spray... and excitement pours out of him like a faucet... he gets it from his Mama.
He is articulate in his needs, and knows where every single toy he has ever owned is... even when they are thrown everywhere and look like a hot mess... Boyfriend knows what is where... it is insane.
His memory is ridiculous.
Currently, he wants to be an eye doctor with a "spoon over the eye," when he grows up.
I love to hear him talk about it. I never had any aspirations except to write, and be a Mom.
When Boyfriend watches Toy Story, he plays with Toy Story toys... and when he watches Ninja Turtles, only the Ninja Turtles can join... he is theme-y and biased like that.
His imagination is excellent, he plays by himself wonderfully and doesn't need to be entertained...
Except at 8 pm every night... when his be-witching hour strikes and he just. can't. control. his. energy. any. more.
We have tough days, as all parents and kids do...
He is testing the waters a little more every day... just the way he is supposed to be.
I hate it... but I understand it too.
I am so proud of the child that he is becoming, and the baby that he was.
He loves his family, aunts and uncles, and extended "more-like-family-than-friends," friends with such reckless abandon... he asks every morning who is coming to see us that day...
A born host who loves to party, he listens for the front door to open from the moment he opens his eyes.
I am sad, on this day that marks the birth of my baby four years ago, because I long for him to be that small baby again...
And I am happy because he is such a good boy... such a loving, happy, and silly child.... I am so blessed to know him, love him, and call him my own.
Happy Birthday Big Boy...
Sweet son, grandson, nephew, brother, and friend....
You mean the absolute world to us.