Today I decided to put an end to my child's cell phone use.
Somewhere along the line, someone let my three year old play a game on their cell phone... one thing led to another, and now we have an Angry Birds addict on our hands.
Even when I hand him my phone with an educational game set to go, the little sneak knows how to turn off the sound, find Angry Birds, and start playing... all on his own!
You're thinking, delete the app.
Well, everyone has the app, so if it's not on my phone, it's on someone else's.
Boyfriend was starting to get a little fresh and twitchy when I would take the phone away from him, so I decided that I am going to go with what I firmly believe... three year olds do not need technology... so I cut him off.
No more cell phones, or i-pads... not now, not tomorrow... not gonna happen.
I delivered the news and he pretty much had a heart attack.
It did not go well.
There was screaming, and limb flailing.
A short while later, on the way to drop him at school, this happened:
Him: "Can you please turn down the music, I want to talk to you."
Me: "Okay. What's up Bud?"
Him: "Are you ready to apologize?"
Me: (confused, and trying not to laugh) "Um... what for Bud?"
Him: "For ruining my yife."
Oohhhh... right... that time I ruined my three year old's yife.
Then Boyfriend explained in a very calm and frank voice, that because he could no longer use a cell phone or i-pad, I had ruined his day AND his yife... so I should apologize.
It took everything I had to keep a straight face and not laugh at him, because I could tell that he was honestly dead serious and would not appreciate me down playing the severity of his yife being ruined.
While Lovebug was at school, repairing his yife, I was able to get my giggles out, and come up with a solution that would make everyone happy.
I concocted a new plan, that would allow him computer time on the educational, child friendly website StarFall .... which came highly recommended by his teacher.
His computer time will of course be limited, and supervised; obviously, since he can't read or write, he can't get very far on his own.
I set him up with the computer far away from his pesky sister and told him to do his, "Homework..."
At first he tried to Tough Guy it out... throwing up his little kid gang signs and saying "I DON'T YIKE STAR FALL..."
A few minutes later and Boyfriend was smiling away, happily telling me that he was doing his work and needed to be yeft ayone for some quiet time.
I'm like "Quiet time? You got it dude."
Why yes I did just quote Michelle Tanner.
Kids are just like drunk people... easily distracted, and forgetful...
Which is a good thing, cause I was really worried he'd hold a grudge against me for the whole ruining his yife thing.
Yooks yike he'll yive after all.
Mommy 1, Angry Birds 0