9/7/12

The Opposite Of Keeping My Cool.

I had a rough week.

It started when I decided to stop nursing Ladybug the day before Lovebug started Pre-School.

Dumb.

Between not nursing and the impending doom of sending my first born to school... I was an emotional basket case.

It just felt like my kids aged ten years in twenty four hours.

Poor Husband.

I called him on the way home from buying Lovebug new school shoes... and our conversation went like this:

"Hi. I bought him two pairs of shoes."

"That's good."

"They are slip ons... just in case the teacher is too busy with someone else, and his shoe is untied, and he doesn't stop to ask someone for help, and he trips and falls and breaks his face...and then we have to go pick him up, and take him to the Doctor, or the HOSPITAL! All because no one was looking out for him and his untied shoes...."

As you might have guessed... by this point in the conversation I was crying, and talking in that weird squeaky voice that girls get when they are trying desperately NOT to cry.

After a few deep breaths, and Husband laughing at me for being dumb, and me trying hard as Hell not to be irrational about the damn shoe laces....

I continued.

"This is crazy! I don't know WHY I am crying, (now I am laughing and crying at once) this is so silly (laughing)..I mean... he has been with me EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE... I can't give up 5 hours a week to a teacher?? Really? What is my problem? Except... about the shoes. I got him slip ons (crying again) so he can put them on all by himself (crying harder)... since he is going to be... all by himself (wailing)."

By the time I got home, I just couldn't stop... I was laughing and crying and sobbing ... just an emotional freaking mess.

Thank God I have a patient Husband, who understands that all I have ever wanted in my whole life is to be a Mom, and be at home with our babies...

And no matter how irrational I was... he understood that letting go is hard... even if it's only Preschool.

 I'm happy that I took all of Wednesday night to act like a crazy person...

Because I promised myself that come Thursday morning, I would be a normal, excited, confident Mom... ready to be strong and happy for our little Man.

And I kept my promise... almost.



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