8/9/12

Throat Punch Thursday

You know... I try to keep Our Tiny Place a judgement free zone.

I was raised to just do my thing, and accept others for who they are.... but sometimes, I just want to punch someone in the throat.

My blog is usually a bitch free zone, since 99% of what I write is written purely for my children to read and remember when they get older...

But you know what, by the time I let my kids read my blog (High Schoolish I'm thinking)... they will probably think I am a bitch anyway.

So screw it... I'm sucker punching everybody today.

And kids... if you are reading this, violence is never the answer.

1- The lady I saw at the park today, who let her kids (ages 4 & 5) out to play, while she sat on her phone in the car with the AC cranked up.

You bitch.

Play with your freaking kids.

Some people would kill to be able to chase their kids around a playground, or push them on the swings.

Andplusalso... your kids would be puddles of happiness if you'd get dirty with them.

Put your phone down and try it.

2- Same lady.

Yeh, you again.

I heard you tell your kids to buckle their seat belts... you made sure I heard it didn't you?

What you didn't know is that I am a Car Seat Nazi (not to be confused with my Nap Nazi self).

I know damn well your 4 year old daughter should be in some sort of booster seat.  

Woman: Care more.

Safety first. Angry Birds second.

3- Speaking of car seats: DOES ANYONE READ THE FREAKING MANUAL?!

Anyone? How about you in the back? No? Does anyone at least look at the pictures??

People... and by people, I mean those of you who post pictures of your kids buckled all fucking wrong in their carseats on Facebook... Protect your kids!

Chest clips, go at arm-pit level... duh... chest clip!

It does not go at their belly button... it goes across their chest!

Plus.. for the love of God tighten those straps!

Carseats are made to protect our babies, but they can't work if you DON'T USE THEM CORRECTLY (ie: if you put it on the roof of your car, not a chance in Hell it is saving anyone's life.)

4- People who buy my children pop-up books before the age of 3.

Really? REALLY?

You bought a 1 year old a big beautiful pop up book and now, two years later, when you come to visit you want to read it with him??

 Sorry but that book with the gorgeous pictures... was long ago ripped to shreds.

The rabbit has no ears, the duck has no bill, and the sailboat is sinking because a toddler ate it.

5- The women out there who continuously, without fail, every single week, google "Can I Febreze my vagina?" and end up on my blog.

Seriously? For real?

I got 57 hits last week on that question alone.

Who are these 57 women, what happened to their vaginas, and why are they not googling, "NEAREST GYNO..." instead?

To be honest, if you need to Febreze your lady parts then you are having a bad enough day as it is, without me punching you in the neck.

Okay smelly vag ladies, you win.

But seriously... see a Doctor.

____________________________________________

Alright... I apologize for the crazy-sucker-punching-everyone rant.

I now return you to your regularly schedule toddler shenanigans and cuteness.

(Hiding from his sister, so she won't beat his ass again).



7 comments :

  1. Don't even get me started on the fb pictures of the kids in incorrect car seats! Not only are you stupid enough to do that to your children but you're going to post it without realizing how stupid you really are. Not a single pop up book has survived our house. Mine has even found a way to ruin those audio books family have sent with their voice recordings:-/ That's always a really awkward moment when they are over and ask where we keep it...

    ReplyDelete
  2. AH crap, you probably have thought this about my child !!!!! I probably don't pay enough attention to chest clips. I didn't even really know it was a huge deal. So sometimes people might just need info you know? Noted. I'll put them higher.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha so so many people have emailed me and said... are you talking about me?! I wasn't talking about you but I am thrilled to hear you will change your ways! Honestly... it makes sense right? PS... Husband was the original car seat nazi... I did it wrong in the beginning too!

      Delete
    2. Oh sweet, glad it wasn't me... my husband just googled it because he didn't know either! See, you're now providing knowledge to your lovely readers lol :)

      Delete
  3. You know who I really wanna punch in the throat (and ovaries, in hopes she can never reproduce again)? The woman who actually put her baby on top of her car, drove off, and didn't realize the whole time, even when the baby fell off the roof on the side of the road. Thankfully the baby only had minor cuts and bruises. Don't worry though, she would never do it if she were sober.

    http://www.newser.com/story/147270/pot-toking-mom-puts-baby-on-car-roof-drives-off.html

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi there! I'm a new follower from MBC and would love a follow back at sugarplumsandlollipops.blogspot.com and Pinterest. I follow back all my Pinterest followers!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am laughing out loud alone in my room right at this moment and the hubs just walked in to ask me what was going on... thank you, yet again, for making my day (andplusalso) taking the words right out of my mouth. :)

    ReplyDelete

Say something nice, go:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Blog design by Get Polished | Copyright Our Tiny Place 2017