4/3/12

The Easter Bunny

Lovebug is on Easter Bunny excitement overload right now.


Which is weird because I have never even mentioned the Easter Bunny, but he's all:

"Mom... The Easter Bunny is going to bring me candy! 

And eggs! 

But bunnies don't lay eggs, Mom... chickens lay eggs."

Who is this kid, Bill Nye? Old McDonald?

How did he get so friggin' smart??

I purposely haven't mentioned anything about The Easter Bunny to the little man because I honestly have no clue what to say.

What sort of lie do I begin now, that I can keep up for the next ten or more years (since Ladybug's gotta believe too)... you know??


I tried out a few test convos with myself the other day, you know... because I have nothing better to do than talk to myself about the Easter Bunny.

Anyway, I didn't get very far... here's why:

(Begin hypothetical conversation with Lovebug)

"Hey Doll... do you know who is coming next week?

The Easter Bunny!

And do you know who that is?

He is a big giant bunny, as tall as Daddy, with a head as wide as a small TV, and ears as long as your legs!

And he is going to come into our house, and leave eggs everywhere, and baskets! And jelly beans! And plastic grass!"

Cause none of that sounds scary at all right??

I'm trying not to freak the kid out anymore than I really have to.

It's funny to think about the Easter Bunny now, as an adult.

I know for sure I haven't eaten a handful of mushrooms today, but when I was going through my Easter Bunny scenario...  it sounded like a bad trip even to my own ears.

A giant bunny?  In our house? At night? Delivering eggs? Why does the bunny have eggs?

Bunnies are mammals!! They don't lay eggs!!

Whoever invented the Easter Bunny was into hallucinogenics folks... that much is for sure.

My friends suggested I just focus on the candy! candy! candy! part of the Easter Bunny.. and maybe make little tiny bunny prints in flour throughout the house.

I've been thinking about those little tiny paw prints, and I have decided that they are a total mind fuck.

My whole life the Easter Bunny has been GIANT in my brain.. not like a little barn yard bunny in a cage.

 How the eff could that small little guy carry baskets, and grass, and kites, and playdoh??

Impossible.

The Easter Bunny is definitely big, not little.

He is an NBA sized furball.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Until Lovebug tells me different.

For now, we will leave a key out for the bunny to hop his big ass through the front door...

And we'll keep telling Lovebug that monsters are only pretend, but giant rabbits bopping around the house are real.


Makes total sense, right?

3 comments :

  1. Glad Leila is still too young to need an explanation! I hate the Easter bunny, but he does bring killer treats. Maybe you should take all the credit for the Easter basket. Tell them the bunny is just for spring pictures ;)

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  2. So funny! I have always thought the Easter bunny was a little scary. A giant bunny? No thanks . And I don't remember ever believing in it when I was little but who knows...I'm a New follower!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know if I'm going to do the Easter Bunny- it's weird right? I think I'm going to say no to the tooth fairy too because she freaks me out as well.

    ReplyDelete

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