Creator of the Universe

Even though I love that Husband's job offers him the ability to work from home every so often... it actually makes my life pretty damn difficult when he does.

Husband needs like absolute silence when he works.

And peace.

Oh yeh, and quiet song birds chirping, the smell of fresh laundry, a printer full of paper, stamps for days...

Okay, not all of that is true... but he does require a lot less noise than our kids are capable of.

So when he works from home, I work my ass off to keep the kiddies to a dull roar.

I am inside, I am outside, I am upstairs, I am downstairs...

I am everywhere that Husband is not.

I am a clown, I am a horse, I am a fire man, I am a dairy bar.

I am ninety seven things to two people... and I am doing it all quietly.

It is exhausting.

And today, I decided to add, "Creator of the Universe," to my plate.

No big deal.

Lovebug has been eying Ladybug's mobile for months... begging for one of his own.

I was feeling bad about not getting all home-made on a mobile for his room, and so... the Solar System Mobile Project was born.

Man, what a fucking pain in the ass the Solar System is.

First of all, I should never have consulted Husband.

I was all, "I am going to make a mobile, and it will be really simple, and....."

And that is where he cut me off and was all, "It'll be the solar system, with the planets in the correct positions, and the correct colors, and Saturn will have rings!"

I will give you one guess who was not present while I was taking toothpicks to Saturn's face today, trying to secure those damn rings.

Anyway... this is only step one, or should I say, way more than step one.

First... I took apart this floral thinga-majig... and painted it black.

It cost about 2 bucks at Micheal's.

Then I spray painted the sun, which had been thrown around the house for a week by a certain toddler terrorist... hence the dents.

I continued on to each of the planets... which are not all different sizes because the craft store sells them as one size per bag.

I was not interested in spending $100 on this project, so the planets around here all wear the same size jeans.

Anyway, each planet got a base coat of paint, and then a top coat to make it look planet-y.

Except Jupiter.

That piece of crap Jupiter.

I thought I was done and then I am putting it together and I'm like... where the eff is Jupiter?

Oh Jupiter is in the bag, because you didn't make him yet... ass.

Right. Stupid Jupiter.

And if you're wondering about Pluto, which is not a planet anymore.... in our house it is.

And it is smaller than all the rest.

Because I happened to find a random small ball in the toy room that fit the bill.

I kept Pluto because I am a child of the 80's... and when I was in school, Pluto existed.

Anyway... the next step will be putting glow in the dark paint all over this puppy... so it'll look cool at night too.

And then hang this baby up, and call it a day.

Husband has high hopes that Lovebug will have the planets memorized by Kindergarten.

To be honest... I don't really care if he learns anything from this thing or not... he asked for it, so I made it for him.

That's what Mom's do, right??

Plus it's just one more thing I can add to the list that I'll use to guilt trip him when he gets older....

I carried you in my womb for nine months...
I raised you, fed you, bathed you....
I built you a solar system mobile that glowed in the dark, and had almost every planet on it...


  1. Pluto will always be a planet in my book

  2. Mother of the year ova here! But seriously, though. Major props on the solar system mobile.

  3. Good job mama- you would totally rock the 6th grade science fair.

  4. Hi! Did you still want me to create a banner for you?

  5. I want one please! I'd like the rings around Saturn to sparkle .. Thank you in advance!


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