4/24/12

Blips

Some days... things just suck.

Like yesterday, when Ladybug reached her little paw underneath my dresser.. and found a teeny triangular piece of my retainer.. that must have broken off three months ago...

She popped it into her mouth; and then gagged, and choked, and puked.

I got it out, and she is okay. Thank God for that.

And then there's Lovebug; well, he took his bowl of popcorn and stood in it, tipping little kernels all over the carpet.

Then just to get his point across, he danced on them, making sure they were good and mashed into that carpet like potatoes.

And then when I put him into Ladybug's crib to play... he jumped up and down, until her mattress was a see-saw... and she was up, and he was down.

Moments like these; they make me want to pull my graying hair out.

They hurt my stomach and make me feel like less of a mother, and more of a failure.

I should watch more closely, I should be more of a hard ass, I should sleep more, play more, clean more...

But then I remember... a friend of mine from the gym, she says this thing.

She says, "It's just a blip on the radar."

I do believe I met this woman just so she would say that one sentence to me... because it has changed my life, my views, my blood pressure.

As long as they are okay, and healthy, and happy, and loved, and squeezed, and hugged... then it's just a blip.

And I am lucky to be apart of them, good or bad... they are our blips... ones we experience, and learn from, together.

It wont be long now until Lovebug figures out that a kiss from me doesn't actually heal a boo-boo.

...Until Ladybug stops nursing.

...Until the two of them run ahead of me in the Mall so I won't embarrass them.

I never realized how fast life moved until I had children to throw everyday into fast forward.

It makes me sad to see them grow and change so quickly... so I'll take each tiny minute, and I'll embrace it.

Even if I hate that minute, like the day I stepped in Lovebug's shit in bare feet.

I'll take it, because life moves fast... and I don't want to miss these tiny moments of goodness and badness.

Even when I am disciplining, or reaching my hand into my daughter's throat to pull out a piece of my breast pump... even then, I will appreciate these moments, because they are only blips on the radar of their lives.

They are young for such a short amount of time... every minute is one minute closer to school, the bus, friends... less Mom, more... everything else.

Not every moment is a perfect one, but they're all quick ones.

And so I'll take every single blip as it comes my way.

I will savor them; sweet or sour, I will keep them close, and re-tell them for years to come.




3 comments :

  1. "This too shall pass" and "It's just a phase." These help me during the tougher times. There is always something new just around the corner. <3

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  2. You're doing really well. We can't all be perfect and kids will be kids.

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  3. Ladybug sure does like to put random objects in here mouth- doesn't she? I try to remember what your saying a lot- especially since my daughter has been pretty terrible lately. I have to savor all the moments when she is little because before I know it smothering her with kisses and cuddling her close will be a distant memory.

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