As a result, and because I have no life, I haven't stopped thinking about baby shower gifts all day.
Like I don't have ninety fafillion other things I should be obsessing over instead of someone I don't even know's baby shower this coming Sunday.
But that's how I roll...anything to avoid laundry.
Anyway, my first choice would be some sort of personalized art to match the babie's nursery, like the cupcakes or banner hanging in Ladybug's room... but if I had to store shop... what would I buy??
After a lot of thought about what works for our family, I came up with this list:
Number 1, of course, would be Pampers Diapers...in size 4, which seems to be the size kid's get the longest use out of.
I use their Rewards System and get cool things like pictures of the kids and bath toys... fo' free.
And because, hello, diapers are fucking expensive.
Number 2, is a tie, between Sophie the Giraffe and Lovebug's Light Up Ladybug.
We can not live without these two little peaches in our lives.
Sophie is a teething toy that Ladybug hangs onto for dear life, and the Constellation Ladybug lights up Lovebug's room, and scares away monsters... which is a pretty important job.
Also, I am a big fan of buying for, "later on," not just buying a newborn onesie and calling it a day.
Number 3, would definitely be Baby Cubes, which I use when I make Ladybug's meals.
I boil and puree all the Dollface's food, because it just makes sense with the way we eat and live.
Plus, it saves us a buttload of cash. I think.
I don't actually know for sure because I've never bought packaged baby food.
Anyway, I just plop her little mush into these cube jobbies and call it a day.
I pull them out of the freezer or fridge when it's chow time.
(They work much better than using plain old ice cube trays.)
Number 4, (how much money am I spending on this shower gift, anyway?) would be these closet organizers, and these bi-fold door baby proofing numbers.
They are both great products, but are pretty hard to find in the stores: I found both at One Step Ahead.
Plus, everyone knows nesting Mom's are Organization-Nation crazy.
When I was 9 months pregnant the sight of these two things in a gift bag would have made me burst into happy tears.
Number 5, and my final gift to this clearly spoiled, yet fictional child.... would be these two books.
Someone actually gave me Book 1 when Ladybug was born.
I have to admit, I didn't open it until last month because I was all,
"It has dolphins on it.. it's probably boring."
Mom of the Year, right here, thankyouverymuch.
(Side note: I have since learned this book has more than one cover).
Anyway, one night I opened it, and it is such a sweet book, it is the new Love You Forever for me.
The words are absolutely spot on, and the pictures are stunning... ohandplusalso... it's only 5 bananas at Kohl's (bonus).
"I wanted you more than you will ever know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go."
"Make a big splash! Go out on a limb! My love will find you. My love can swim!"
Am I right?
It does sound slightly stalkerish if you aren't reading it directly to your children....
But if you're not a pyscho, and are simply reading it to your cherubs...
I betcha cant get all the way through without your voice catching just a little teensy tiny bit.
And just in case you were worried that I am going soft...
I'd pair Book 1, with Book 2...
A picture book for adults like me: who aren't afraid of a little four letter word once in awhile.
"The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run, and creep.
I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bullshit. Stop lying.
Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep."
Come on now, I don't care who you are... that is funny.
If you are a parent, you have been there.
Chances are even if you are an Aunt or Uncle, or nanny... you have been there too.
I bet even soft spoken, baby lovin' Michelle Duggar has wanted to tell her darling's to go the eff to sleep every once in awhile.
There you have it... what I would give at a baby shower.
Now whose going to get knocked up so I can spend Husband's hard earned cash on all this crap??