Be Fine

The house is silent, sans a few sighs and coos from Ladybug.

It is glorious.

Husband finally took Lovebug out for some good old fashioned sunshine and stimulation (you know how I love/live to tire out Lovebug)... so Ladybug and I are alone... at last.

Visitors, though on a strict "visitation" schedule (no one between 1-2:30... Lovebug/Ladybug/Mama Bug nap time) have been coming daily to catch a glimpse of the baby that doesn't cry, just cuddles, and coos.

Husband enjoys letting Ladybug sleep on his chest, something Lovebug never wanted to do... and I, I am chasing Lovebug up and down the stairs, down the street, down the yard, across the house... trying to give him the attention he needs/wants/deserves... and tire him out all at once.

This is no way to recover from a c-section mind you. But necessary all the same.

As I write this, I have just finished nursing Ladybug, who is a snoozing peacefully. It is moments like this that I wish I had a babysitter nearby, just so I could have 15 minutes to think, regroup, plan.

Maneuvering Lovebug's moods since Ladybug entered the picture is the hardest task I have dealt with since becoming a parent. He loves her, oh does he love her, but he is loud, and doesn't listen, and doesn't know what he wants... bursting into tears at any given moment, then laughing and singing one second later.

I tell myself, he is two, and he is confused. I cant wait to be able to drive again (no driving for 2 weeks post c-section) so I can take him out for a quick date, just the two of us.

We have read and re-read every book we own at night before bed, just the two of us.

We have laid together on the couch watching a movie, just the two of us.

We have walked to the end of the street and back, pointing out every blade of grass, every leaf, every mailbox.. just the two of us.

And when we get home, I hobble into the house (incision screaming) and he goes right to his little sister, touches her head softly and says, "Be fine... be fine..." in a soft, whisper-y voice.

I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I am hopeful that in a few short weeks, Lovebug wont remember life before Ladybug, and will just embrace his new sibling.

He wont hate his parents, as I keep saying, it's not Ladybug, it's us... it's Mom and Dad, it's the change in the family dynamic...it's not her, she is sweet and silent, and he loves her.

Soon, he will go back to his non-screaming, non-crying, always happy self.

Soon, he will... "Be Fine."

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