3/30/11

Time Keeps Ticking, Ticking, Ticking Away

Damn you rotating Earth and Greek calendar... why does time have to go so fast??

Last night, Lovebug insisted HE read the books to ME. I am pretty sure I died inside. He is getting so old.

As I sat quietly (he literally said, "No, No Mommy" every time I spoke) rubbing his head, I got to thinking.

You see, less than an hour before, Husband had cut Lovebug's hair, showered and got him ready for bed. Without being asked. I know, I was all, "What the eff do you want, why are you being so nice?"

"What do I do now?" 

Without fail, every time Lovebug gets a haircut I get all weepy and sad. Last night was no different. There I am, rubbing his perfect little C-Section baby round head, and I start thinking.


He is going to be two soon. And after two comes three, and after three comes four. After four... comes Mommy asking the school bus driver for her Social Security Number, finger prints and pee test before I let Lovebug into her big yellow bully zone of  a bus. 

Okay, maybe I got myself a little worked up. The school bus driver is probably an American Citizen, with great finger prints and clean pee... and I am sure her bus will be a bully free zone. I mean, the school bus driver in my head of course, seeing as Lovebug is not going to school for another 4 years.

Thank God for that.

I sat quietly sniffing his little hair as he read me a book... is that weird?? It was freshly cut, and washed and smelled like Johnson and Johnson. I am going to give myself the go ahead to keep head sniffing, judge me if you want.

Lovebug says his name now. He wants to do everything on his own. He wants to pick up the cat, and use the remote. He wants to stop and play the fire hydrant like a drum, and climb and re-climb into his high chair 75 times a day.

Time is moving too fast, he is getting too smart, too funny.

The other night when I ignored his requests to call my dad, "Pop-Pop" on the phone... he tried a different angle. "Call Warren," which is my father's name. What the hell? The kid is not even two and he knows his Grandfather's real name?? This is not normal, he is so smart, and so cute... I want it to stop.



I am not ready. I am not ready for him to not want to squeeze me, or give me kisses for no reason. I am not ready for him to go on play dates without me. I want him by my side.

That's why I breastfed until 11 months, why we eat every meal together, and why I sit on the kitchen floor and feed him snacks while he plays the guitar. It's why I take him with me to the gym, so I can be with him until the last second before class starts, and the first second after I am done stretching. It is why I blog at night, and nap time, so I wont miss a second using my brain, when I can watch his in action. It is why he comes into our bed every morning to cuddle, and why he grabs my hair when he is happy, sad, mad, hurt, needy.


I am not ready for my little Lovebug to turn into an 11 year old boy who talks on the phone, hates me and has arm pit hair.

Stop moving Sun, stop rotating Earth... stay where you are Greek calendar, and planets, and damn cuckoo clocks. 


I like where I am. Thankyouverymuch.


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2 comments :

  1. He is adorable!! I could have written your post, my little girl just turned two in February and I would love to stop the clock, but this age is soo fun too. They need to stay little longer.... PS I totally smell Hannah's hair too...
    I found you via the blog hop
    your newest follower
    www.ourcrazybeautifulife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks so much for visiting... and for making me feel like I am not the only hair smelling lunatic out there!

    ReplyDelete

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